Joshua's cele looks good today, but there's a new spot leaking. It was originally 2 spots - one small, one large - then the small on healed. Now there's another spot (hard to see how large) open on t he end of it, so we've dressed it with the antibiotic ointment as well. He was very talkative today (not goo-goos, but sounds anyways) and very wide awake eyes today. He's fitting in newborn clothes - I know... good grief, here he is nearly 8 weeks old and just beginning to fit in them...
But they're already a bit short for him - which I only notice if I put him in sleepers. It's his legs that are long, not his body particularly. He's got unbelievable long limbs! How funny!
Oceana woke me up this morning when she was rubbing lotion (icky lotion that I don't want her to touch) into my back. I had put her in our bed around 6:15, but dozed for another hour. I'm stupid... We had to take a shower immediately afterwards coz she was covered in NASTINESS! What a fantastically fun way to wake up on Saturday morning.
Not much happening today - it's been pouring all day. We visited a friend. My mom is packing. I worked on some letters for local schools (Marine Reach letters) inviting them to our ship's send off in April and asking to do a presentation about children who don't get medical/dental care. Now I'm gonna go looking at rental properties online and then write a RAM (risk assessment and management) report for the city council for our send off. Blah. But the babies are sleeping - so get the work done while it's quiet!!!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Day 53
We're all fine! Don't worry! I know I've been MIA for 48 hours - my apologies. Wednesday was spent cleaning all day - my parents house had a showing and it was ... uh ... pig sty material.
Thursday morning we left very early for Tauranga. Heather came and changed Joshua's bandages and the antiobitic cream seems to have worked GREAT! This is fantastic because his doctors don't want him on continuous antibiotics, because eventually he'll become immune to them. We went down for my first big meeting for communications with Marine Reach Ministries. There's a big send off for the ship on the 5th of April, and I'm "in charge" (how terrifying) of the event. So there's a lot to do. Anyways, we were planning to go down, have one meeting, go out and look at houses, come back for a 2nd meeting, and then go home. Instead...
Matt had his meeting and I had my first. Then we went out looking for houses... I thought this whole renting houses thing was easier. So after a lot of frustration and a bunch of phone calls two days later - we've not looked at a single house. And we don't even have one full application put in... pieces of one and a bunch more sitting in a box in my kitchen. I was frustrated and gave up... what can I say?
We stayed the night at a friend's place - Joshua's adopted great grandparents - Ben and Helen A.
He's one of the old ship captains from way back... he's so wonderful and Helen is just a delight to be with. Helen and Ben had a daughter - Jenny - who caught meningitis as a baby. She was misdiagnoses for several days and by the time it was diagnosed, the damage was already done. Jenny was never "normal" after that and developed hydrocephalus. She lived for 5 years (she died as a result of having her teeth pulled ... not because of her condition). Helen has a soft spot for Joshua because of Jenny - and she loved holding him and talking to him. It was wonderful to stand in her living room and see pictures of Jenny (45 yr old pictures) ... she was a beautiful little girl. It's wonderful to see that 45 years down the track Helen and Ben still love their little girl so much, and she's forever one of their six children... certainly not forgotten. It's a good thing to see. Now I don't ever have to feel that I have to forget Joshua or feel less upset or feel less empty... he's my baby, he'll always be my baby ....
I saw a boy with his mom in a store today. He was probably 13 or 14, and was (some sort of) mentally disabled. And all I could do was smile... because I knew his momma loved him SOOO much! I could see it by the way she was letting him help her carry something, and she was smiling. It made me really happy to be out and about with Joshua.
But in that same store (not 5 minutes later) I saw a teenage girl look at me funny. I chalked it up to Joshua being in his sling (his head looks strange in the sling) and ignored it. Just a few minutes later I saw her walk up to her mother and whisper and point. Then they stood there and stared at us. And my mind ran a hundred miles an hour.
*Is she confused about why there's a lump behind his head (you couldn't see it when he was in the sling, just that there's a lump)?
*Is she confused about how small his head is and how it slopes back differently?
*Does she think I hurt him?
I go stuck on "Does she think I hurt him." And I got scared. What if people thought I did something to him? What if people don't get it and assume that? But at the same time I didn't want anyone to come talk to me about it.
I was walking around aimlessly - totally absorbed by these thoughts - when another young girl (sales rep from the store) looked up at me. I thought she MUST be thinking the same stuff, and got more depressed. A few steps later I heard, "Excuse me, ma'am?"
And she asked me, "Where do you get those sling things?" Haha. Here I am totally FLIPPING OUT and this girl's impressed by my handmade peanut pouch. I'm so panicky. I should laugh at myself. I explained that I made it and then walked away ........ smiling.
Joshua's been making noise today - sort of "talking". It's not quite gurgles and cooing, but it's as close as we've been. He's such a good sport - he was in and out of his carseat all day.
He goes for another weigh in on Monday. (That'll be Sunday evening EST)
Thursday morning we left very early for Tauranga. Heather came and changed Joshua's bandages and the antiobitic cream seems to have worked GREAT! This is fantastic because his doctors don't want him on continuous antibiotics, because eventually he'll become immune to them. We went down for my first big meeting for communications with Marine Reach Ministries. There's a big send off for the ship on the 5th of April, and I'm "in charge" (how terrifying) of the event. So there's a lot to do. Anyways, we were planning to go down, have one meeting, go out and look at houses, come back for a 2nd meeting, and then go home. Instead...
Matt had his meeting and I had my first. Then we went out looking for houses... I thought this whole renting houses thing was easier. So after a lot of frustration and a bunch of phone calls two days later - we've not looked at a single house. And we don't even have one full application put in... pieces of one and a bunch more sitting in a box in my kitchen. I was frustrated and gave up... what can I say?
We stayed the night at a friend's place - Joshua's adopted great grandparents - Ben and Helen A.
He's one of the old ship captains from way back... he's so wonderful and Helen is just a delight to be with. Helen and Ben had a daughter - Jenny - who caught meningitis as a baby. She was misdiagnoses for several days and by the time it was diagnosed, the damage was already done. Jenny was never "normal" after that and developed hydrocephalus. She lived for 5 years (she died as a result of having her teeth pulled ... not because of her condition). Helen has a soft spot for Joshua because of Jenny - and she loved holding him and talking to him. It was wonderful to stand in her living room and see pictures of Jenny (45 yr old pictures) ... she was a beautiful little girl. It's wonderful to see that 45 years down the track Helen and Ben still love their little girl so much, and she's forever one of their six children... certainly not forgotten. It's a good thing to see. Now I don't ever have to feel that I have to forget Joshua or feel less upset or feel less empty... he's my baby, he'll always be my baby ....
I saw a boy with his mom in a store today. He was probably 13 or 14, and was (some sort of) mentally disabled. And all I could do was smile... because I knew his momma loved him SOOO much! I could see it by the way she was letting him help her carry something, and she was smiling. It made me really happy to be out and about with Joshua.
But in that same store (not 5 minutes later) I saw a teenage girl look at me funny. I chalked it up to Joshua being in his sling (his head looks strange in the sling) and ignored it. Just a few minutes later I saw her walk up to her mother and whisper and point. Then they stood there and stared at us. And my mind ran a hundred miles an hour.
*Is she confused about why there's a lump behind his head (you couldn't see it when he was in the sling, just that there's a lump)?
*Is she confused about how small his head is and how it slopes back differently?
*Does she think I hurt him?
I go stuck on "Does she think I hurt him." And I got scared. What if people thought I did something to him? What if people don't get it and assume that? But at the same time I didn't want anyone to come talk to me about it.
I was walking around aimlessly - totally absorbed by these thoughts - when another young girl (sales rep from the store) looked up at me. I thought she MUST be thinking the same stuff, and got more depressed. A few steps later I heard, "Excuse me, ma'am?"
And she asked me, "Where do you get those sling things?" Haha. Here I am totally FLIPPING OUT and this girl's impressed by my handmade peanut pouch. I'm so panicky. I should laugh at myself. I explained that I made it and then walked away ........ smiling.
Joshua's been making noise today - sort of "talking". It's not quite gurgles and cooing, but it's as close as we've been. He's such a good sport - he was in and out of his carseat all day.
He goes for another weigh in on Monday. (That'll be Sunday evening EST)
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
If you are [seriously] interested
We are sending out a letter to those who partner with us - as we are missionaries living on faith support - if you are interested in receiving the letter, let me know. I will most likely post the letter online at some point. If you're interested, send your name and address to my email mnssams (@) gmail (dot) com.
Wordless Wednesday With a Twist
I decided to join in on this blogfest!
The rules from AmericanMum are
"The first Wordless Wednesday With a Twist theme is children. They can be your own, or anyone else, but of course get their parents' permission first. The idea is to take a series of pictures that tell a story. Be creative! The posting date will be Wednesday, February 27, so you've got about a bit over a week to take your pictures."
They're not supposed to be archive photos - but my camera has curled up and died. So sorry for the one-week-old-pictures. :)
The rules from AmericanMum are
"The first Wordless Wednesday With a Twist theme is children. They can be your own, or anyone else, but of course get their parents' permission first. The idea is to take a series of pictures that tell a story. Be creative! The posting date will be Wednesday, February 27, so you've got about a bit over a week to take your pictures."
They're not supposed to be archive photos - but my camera has curled up and died. So sorry for the one-week-old-pictures. :)
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Happy Birthday Jacob Daniel Close
My best friend - Melody - and I met when we were 6 and 7. We were in a Vacation Bible School program together, and Melody came late the first morning. All the books had already been given out, when she arrived. I offered to share my book with Melody and we've been "inseparable" ever since. I put " " with the inseparable because we have rarely lived near each other. When we met I lived in Lima, NY and she lived in Webster, NY (an hour's drive probably). Then I moved to Virginia. Then I moved to Vermont. Then I moved to New Zealand. Then New Hampshire. By the time I moved back to Lima, I had a license, so it wasn't so far away. Melody lived with us for about 6 months when she was 15. Life's been crazy. We've both been through a lot. We've both experienced loss and childbirth and health problems (more her than me - sorry Mel!).
And a year ago today she had her precious son Jacob Daniel. I've only been able to see Jacob once - as seen in the picture below. Jacob is a chunker! And we wouldn't have him any other way! In these pictures he's 4 months and Oceana's 14. They weighed 20lbs. and 22lbs. How ridiculous is that!?!?!
I'm useless at sending cards on time. So instead, here's a Happy Birthday from us to you Jacob.
XO xo XO
Love from Aunt Susie, Uncle Matt, Oceana, and Joshua
We wish we could be at that major-shakedown birthday next week Buddy. We all know full well your Momma's gonna go nuts for your birthday!
And a year ago today she had her precious son Jacob Daniel. I've only been able to see Jacob once - as seen in the picture below. Jacob is a chunker! And we wouldn't have him any other way! In these pictures he's 4 months and Oceana's 14. They weighed 20lbs. and 22lbs. How ridiculous is that!?!?!
I'm useless at sending cards on time. So instead, here's a Happy Birthday from us to you Jacob.
XO xo XO
Love from Aunt Susie, Uncle Matt, Oceana, and Joshua
We wish we could be at that major-shakedown birthday next week Buddy. We all know full well your Momma's gonna go nuts for your birthday!
Fujifilm F470
Alright blog-world. I need your help. I'm quickly realizing how many people are reading this blog - as can be seen by the visits-tracker that I put in THIS MORNING. Wow - I'm impressed. Anyways, I figure that with all the blog-pictures there are, there's gotta be a reader who knows camera.
We have a 2 year old Fujifilm F470 running with a 1gb xd-card. 6 megapixels.
About 2 months ago it showed up with some blue marks where the lcd screen was starting to give out - like the screen was dying. It didn't affect the pictures, only the screen. Then on Friday I was taking pictures and after a dozen photos they started showing up streaked. See the post below with pictures of Oceana and Joshua sleeping and of our living room. All the pictures are like that. Any ideas what's going on? If the camera's on its way to death, I need to know since we'll be wanting to buy a camera ASAP! Of all the time in our lives that the camera takes a dive, right? So, if ya have any advice, please give it. I've tried charging the battery again. I've tried formatting the card. It seems to be a problem with the camera.
We have a 2 year old Fujifilm F470 running with a 1gb xd-card. 6 megapixels.
About 2 months ago it showed up with some blue marks where the lcd screen was starting to give out - like the screen was dying. It didn't affect the pictures, only the screen. Then on Friday I was taking pictures and after a dozen photos they started showing up streaked. See the post below with pictures of Oceana and Joshua sleeping and of our living room. All the pictures are like that. Any ideas what's going on? If the camera's on its way to death, I need to know since we'll be wanting to buy a camera ASAP! Of all the time in our lives that the camera takes a dive, right? So, if ya have any advice, please give it. I've tried charging the battery again. I've tried formatting the card. It seems to be a problem with the camera.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Day 50
116 ounces
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
3.28 kilograms
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
3280 grams
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
7 pounds 4oz!!!!!
I am a believer. Ok. So I'm always the one who sort of nods and smiles (but inside is rolling her eyes) when the "crunchy" people start talking about herbs. I tend to be very sarcastic and not believe people who say, this herb or that herb or this "potion" blah blah blah.
HOWEVER!
Fenugreek works. I started taking it at 9pm Saturday night and by 9pm Monday night I'd done a 180 degree turn in my milk production. Joshua has MORE THAN HE NEEDS today! I'm pumping what's left and saving it for later!
He's gained 7oz in 6 days!!!!!
Please pray for - what looks like - infection on Joshua's cele again. Rather than keep him on continuous (and eventually ineffective) antiobiotics, they've given him a topic antiobiotic to kill off the staph that naturally grows on his skin. Hopefully this will keep it from getting infected any further.
In answer to a few questions in the comments:
At present there aren't surgical options. I don't post information about tests we're having done or surgeon's we contact because I don't want opinions on that. I don't want the world to walk through dashed hopes with me. Our family is walking through it with us. But be assured, we're doing everything in our power to insure that there is no stone unturned. I will have a nervous breakdown, if in 5 years it comes to light that something could have been done for Joshua.
Rest assured. I'm not sitting around ignoring the possibilities. But at present there aren't any good alternatives. Joshua's happy, he's healthy, he's not in pain. And that's the best we can do for him now. He's a miracle. And each day is precious. If we don't get to keep him longterm, we're prepared for that. We're not okay with it, which is why we're looking into other possibilities. But I won't post that stuff until I have something more concrete to tell the world.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
3.28 kilograms
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
3280 grams
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
7 pounds 4oz!!!!!
I am a believer. Ok. So I'm always the one who sort of nods and smiles (but inside is rolling her eyes) when the "crunchy" people start talking about herbs. I tend to be very sarcastic and not believe people who say, this herb or that herb or this "potion" blah blah blah.
HOWEVER!
Fenugreek works. I started taking it at 9pm Saturday night and by 9pm Monday night I'd done a 180 degree turn in my milk production. Joshua has MORE THAN HE NEEDS today! I'm pumping what's left and saving it for later!
He's gained 7oz in 6 days!!!!!
Please pray for - what looks like - infection on Joshua's cele again. Rather than keep him on continuous (and eventually ineffective) antiobiotics, they've given him a topic antiobiotic to kill off the staph that naturally grows on his skin. Hopefully this will keep it from getting infected any further.
In answer to a few questions in the comments:
At present there aren't surgical options. I don't post information about tests we're having done or surgeon's we contact because I don't want opinions on that. I don't want the world to walk through dashed hopes with me. Our family is walking through it with us. But be assured, we're doing everything in our power to insure that there is no stone unturned. I will have a nervous breakdown, if in 5 years it comes to light that something could have been done for Joshua.
Rest assured. I'm not sitting around ignoring the possibilities. But at present there aren't any good alternatives. Joshua's happy, he's healthy, he's not in pain. And that's the best we can do for him now. He's a miracle. And each day is precious. If we don't get to keep him longterm, we're prepared for that. We're not okay with it, which is why we're looking into other possibilities. But I won't post that stuff until I have something more concrete to tell the world.
Day 49 - 7 weeks
Daddy made a cake for Joshua's 7 week birthday. Of course he made it after Oceana was asleep (we are slowly learning that sugar - past about 5pm - is a stupid idea. And Joshua certainly didn't eat any. But we did sing Happy Birthday. Ok, I sang Happy Birthday. But when you have a birthday part every week you sort of lose the luster for big shindigs. However, we will be having a birthday party when Bryce, Christina, and Miles visit - because it's more fun celebrating with people. My parents would love to have a birthday party too, but it seems they're always gone on Mondays. One of these days Mum... we'll pack all day and then party all night, ok? Or at least until 8pm...
That's the newest news. Matt and I have decided we're moving. To Tauranga. It's a city about an hour south of Waihi Beach. I've taken a job with Marine Reach Ministries (the ship's organization) as the Events Coordinator and writer/designer/organizer for Making Waves magazine. Matt's having a meeting (hopefully) this week with our director to discuss working for MRM full time. But it's difficult to work for an organization that is an hour away. Especially when we have a non-toll-call phone. Ick. So we're going to be looking at houses to rent this week - please pray that we find something in a good area, for a good price, and that everything goes smoothly in that respect.
We want this to be over and done with as soon as possible (moved in by April 1) because Mum and Dad are planning to rent this house out (since they're going to be travelling for 6 months this year). So this whole (5 bedroom) house has to be cleared, cleaned, and revamped for renting in the next 3 - 5 weeks. AK! And there's Joshua and Oceana to contend with.
So I've started packing. But I'm at that point that it's difficult to decide
1. What I need
2. What I want
3. What can be stored
4. What I can't touch because it's my mother's
5. If I want lots of furniture or a little furniture
6. If I want every kitchen appliance
7. What I can throw out/online auction/pack without repercussions from my mother's direction
Oh this is gonna be fun. And tonight I started working on my job (first time I've gotten a ToDo list - thanks Jo!) and I'm suddenly realizing how busy I'm gonna get.
Don't worry. I know this post is going to draw some "You should lay low! Don't do too much! You need to concentrate on Joshua!" comments. But seriously, we've been SITTING for 7 weeks (and longer, because we did it for the 5 weeks before he was born too) and it's getting to us. There's nothing like prolonged periods of apathy/induced laziness to make you feel like sinking your teeth into something! There's only so much time I can spend sitting around the house and dwelling on the situation. And if something happens with Joshua - our lives will go on hold again. We are prepared for that. Not so much prepared, as aware. We know it might happen. And we'll make the best decision for our family at that time - no matter what the situation is.
Ya'll are so cute when you worry about me/us. Haha. It's strange to me. I'm one of those self-proclaimed tough 'ole birds. Haha. I'm usually trying to hold it all together, make everything alright, nothing's gonna bother me - etc etc. But suddenly I'm getting (everyday) these comments about "You're just amazing Susie!", "What a wonderful Mom", etc...
Let me tell you. There's nothing quite like reading that stuff and thinking in my mind "What are they talking about?" or "If they'd only just seem me rail on my poor daughter for spilling her water." or "Are they joking?" or "I guess it's just an easy thing to say when you don't know what to say." But I do appreciate it. I'm realizing that maybe... just maybe... I am. You know how when you're about 13 years old and going through puberty you get comments about "You're such a beautiful young woman."? Ugh. I turned ninety-seven shades of red, bumbled and mumbled and managed to say something like, "Yah right!" because I couldn't take a compliment. The only reason I'm getting better at that is because I can say, "Uh. Thanks. I'm trying." Seriously - I think I say it between once and a dozen times a day. I still have that "Yah right!" reaction in my head - I've just trained my mouth to respond otherwise.
But thank you. I'm beginning (BEGINNING) to believe it. Haha. My house is still a mess. I'm still an iffy mom a lot of the time. I'm still a dog-yeller-atter. I'm still ... useless at taking compliments.
XO!
PS - Joshua's going for a weigh in a 1:30 tomorrow (7:30pm EST)!
That's the newest news. Matt and I have decided we're moving. To Tauranga. It's a city about an hour south of Waihi Beach. I've taken a job with Marine Reach Ministries (the ship's organization) as the Events Coordinator and writer/designer/organizer for Making Waves magazine. Matt's having a meeting (hopefully) this week with our director to discuss working for MRM full time. But it's difficult to work for an organization that is an hour away. Especially when we have a non-toll-call phone. Ick. So we're going to be looking at houses to rent this week - please pray that we find something in a good area, for a good price, and that everything goes smoothly in that respect.
We want this to be over and done with as soon as possible (moved in by April 1) because Mum and Dad are planning to rent this house out (since they're going to be travelling for 6 months this year). So this whole (5 bedroom) house has to be cleared, cleaned, and revamped for renting in the next 3 - 5 weeks. AK! And there's Joshua and Oceana to contend with.
So I've started packing. But I'm at that point that it's difficult to decide
1. What I need
2. What I want
3. What can be stored
4. What I can't touch because it's my mother's
5. If I want lots of furniture or a little furniture
6. If I want every kitchen appliance
7. What I can throw out/online auction/pack without repercussions from my mother's direction
Oh this is gonna be fun. And tonight I started working on my job (first time I've gotten a ToDo list - thanks Jo!) and I'm suddenly realizing how busy I'm gonna get.
Don't worry. I know this post is going to draw some "You should lay low! Don't do too much! You need to concentrate on Joshua!" comments. But seriously, we've been SITTING for 7 weeks (and longer, because we did it for the 5 weeks before he was born too) and it's getting to us. There's nothing like prolonged periods of apathy/induced laziness to make you feel like sinking your teeth into something! There's only so much time I can spend sitting around the house and dwelling on the situation. And if something happens with Joshua - our lives will go on hold again. We are prepared for that. Not so much prepared, as aware. We know it might happen. And we'll make the best decision for our family at that time - no matter what the situation is.
Ya'll are so cute when you worry about me/us. Haha. It's strange to me. I'm one of those self-proclaimed tough 'ole birds. Haha. I'm usually trying to hold it all together, make everything alright, nothing's gonna bother me - etc etc. But suddenly I'm getting (everyday) these comments about "You're just amazing Susie!", "What a wonderful Mom", etc...
Let me tell you. There's nothing quite like reading that stuff and thinking in my mind "What are they talking about?" or "If they'd only just seem me rail on my poor daughter for spilling her water." or "Are they joking?" or "I guess it's just an easy thing to say when you don't know what to say." But I do appreciate it. I'm realizing that maybe... just maybe... I am. You know how when you're about 13 years old and going through puberty you get comments about "You're such a beautiful young woman."? Ugh. I turned ninety-seven shades of red, bumbled and mumbled and managed to say something like, "Yah right!" because I couldn't take a compliment. The only reason I'm getting better at that is because I can say, "Uh. Thanks. I'm trying." Seriously - I think I say it between once and a dozen times a day. I still have that "Yah right!" reaction in my head - I've just trained my mouth to respond otherwise.
But thank you. I'm beginning (BEGINNING) to believe it. Haha. My house is still a mess. I'm still an iffy mom a lot of the time. I'm still a dog-yeller-atter. I'm still ... useless at taking compliments.
XO!
PS - Joshua's going for a weigh in a 1:30 tomorrow (7:30pm EST)!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Asher Joseph Bolte
Went to be with Jesus after 35 minutes on earth. He was 4lbs 1oz, 16in. He had serious congenital abnormalities. He is the 4th son of his parents and the 2nd son in heaven. His older brother passed away from the same abnormalities. Visit them. Pray for them. It's just a serious reminder to me how precious our time with Joshua is.
Day 48
Joshua's doing good today. His bandages were a bit mucky - but definitely better than before. His nurse hasn't said anything about infection. She would if it was an issue. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to keep supplementing with formula or trust that the Fenugreek is enough and feed Joshua more often. I'm slowing down on the pumping and just letting him feed - because I think my supply will go up quicker that way. Still worrying about that. I have enough formula for one more bottle. Not sure what I'm going to do.
He's going in to be weighed on Tuesday - so we'll see if he's gaining well.
*Because sometimes you just have to give in to the nap*
Oceana fell asleep on the arm of the couch. The blue on the right side of the screen is my computer chair. She was standing on the arm and pulling on me while I was blogging. I kept ignoring her and then realized after a few minutes that she was quiet. And this is what I discovered. She was out too! I carried her all the way to the back of the house to lay her down. (She took a nap in my brother's room because I wanted to clean her closet out!) Goodness knows I don't get much cleaning done when she's awake....
What did your evening look like? I was working on a coloring book for Marine Reach Ministries Pacific. Those are a few finished pages on the couch. And Joshua watched Daddy playing Wii. Notice again - work getting done because Oceana's asleep.
He's getting long. He's fitting bigger clothes - but purely on a length basis. They'd slide off him if I held him up. You may notice that stuffed dog in a lot of photos - I've discovered it's the PERFECT head prop. :) Thanks Ellen for the gift. Oceana's always handing it to me insisting I play "bunny" for Joshua. She's convinced the dog is a bunny because her's is a pink bunny. No matter how many times we insist it's a dog - Nothing doing! She's not stupid! Haha! I'm sure she thinks we're lunatics some days. Haha. And yes, there are that many coffee cups strewn around our house...There's another behind his chair and another next to the couch. Sick huh? NO! THEY ARE NOT ALL MINE!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Pics 1
Like I wrote a month or so ago - our internet download limit goes by month. We get 10 gigs upload/download and then when it runs over we have to purchase additional gigs. So we try out best to stay below 10. We've only gone over once. And I was delighted to get online tonight and find that we have 3.5 gigs to use in 2 days (when it rolls over, the gigs don't accumulate...darn it). So I'm gonna use them up by loading up pictures and videos and whatever else I can do. I'll be watching YouTube (the no-no for download limit...ik).
One of Mom Sams' pictures when she came to meet Joshua. Anyone wanna know the major difference between this picture and the ones below? 35 or 40 pounds. Yeah. My husband decided to be healthy (Yeah, Mr Pizza and Wings got healthy! Figure that!) last April. And he's still losing weight. Darn him. I thought I'd be "safe" once I had Joshua (since his weight was getting dangerously close to my number...) and then he went and kept on losing... so that him number is creeping in on mine again. One of my reasons for forcing myself to run the other. One of the reasons I'm now dreading tomorrow (running again) because my legs haven't hurt this much since... well since the last time I ran!
One of Mom Sams' pictures when she came to meet Joshua. Anyone wanna know the major difference between this picture and the ones below? 35 or 40 pounds. Yeah. My husband decided to be healthy (Yeah, Mr Pizza and Wings got healthy! Figure that!) last April. And he's still losing weight. Darn him. I thought I'd be "safe" once I had Joshua (since his weight was getting dangerously close to my number...) and then he went and kept on losing... so that him number is creeping in on mine again. One of my reasons for forcing myself to run the other. One of the reasons I'm now dreading tomorrow (running again) because my legs haven't hurt this much since... well since the last time I ran!
Difficult to see - but oh well. The left photo is from December 04 at Hershey Park. We went to Chocolate World (the free part) with Adam L and Beki G (who are now Mr and Mrs L). Matt's wearing his signature color - baby blue. His nickname in college was Baby Blue because it appeared he owned nothing but. The right picture is from our school's yearly banquet. We were juniors and about one week into our engagement. I was the head of the decorating committee and the finance committee. Remind me to never be that involved again! Ak! Who knows why Matt asked me to marry him that month - I was totally stressed and probably a completely pain in the butt. Ha. And I bought that dress for $15 off a clearance rack the year before (knowing I'd need a dress the next year). Little did I know that I'd be engaged when I wore it - sparking all sorts of jokes about my white (gold and ivory really) dress.
This is taken in the EBI chapel during the 2004 Christmas Talent Show. My hair looks wet because I had just finished washing it. Why you ask? Because earlier in the Talent Show I was in a Brady Bunch knock-off called "Fro-y Bunch". A bunch of us "blessed" curly-haired people did a version of the BB song about Afros. We teased our hair up and looked horrendous. I couldn't stand it any longer. So after our number I ran back to my room and slicked it down for the rest of the show. Haha. I went nuts to do the afro though - hairdryer, comb, and hairspray. Matt sat and watched me. And laughed.
Matt and I before we were dating. You wouldn't believe it would you? See my hands keeping his hands company? Ha. I bought him that sweatshirt the first Christmas we were friends/dating - what else do you get a guy that you sorta-kinda-like? Ugh. I degrated myself and bought him a Philadelphia Eagles sweatshirt. I'm a born-and-raised Patriots fan. And no, I'm not on the Patriots bandwagon. We (the Mears) were fans LOOONG before they were any good. And I do underline ANY. That picture's from January 2005 (I was 20, Matt was 22) - in the Springfield Mass mall. I had just picked up those glasses - my first full day in glasses. I never had eye problems until I got to college and started reading all the time. Suddenly I couldn't figure out who people were from across the cafeteria. Then I started noticing I had trouble driving at night. <---- if this ever happens to you and you DON'T want to land in the eye doc's office - don't tell your mother. Ha. She refused to let me have my car back. Matt had to drive me home from Thanksgiving break. I had leave my car in Vermont until I got glasses. Blah. 
One of our wedding pictures. That's my bridesmaid/junior year roommate Lindsey on the left. And my sister Melody's arm. Haha. Tyffani and Katrina are the cutie-pie flower girls. And Christopher the ringerbearer (turned bathroom-door-locker-and-hider 5 minutes before the ceremony). Best man Roy is on Matt's right. All my wedding pictures are backed up on the external hard drive. I find it easier to take pictures of the paper photos I have, than getting out the US plug external and converter box. I'm a moron, I know.
Oceana and Eli in the MM playhouse. Eli's dad works for a company that needs big equiptment. It comes in ENORMOUS boxes that Margo and Tim commandeer and make big playhouses out of. That lid comes off and the house folds up - a collapsable playhouse. Sign me up!
Fiddling with a bad photo. Still bad. Oh well.
She looks like she's singing opera. She was probably yelling at Eli.
Laxing out in his chair.
Day 46
Joshua and I had some skin-to-skin time last night. He's slipped inside my shirt there. Quite fun - and then Mummy messed with the camera. I have a strange feeling that the screen on the back of our camera is on its way out. And I'm terrified. It doesn't have a view-finder, just the screen. So if that goes, the camera's pretty much useless. AK! It's not that old, so I'm a bit frustrated there. Of course it has lived through me - a completely clumsy fool - and Oceana who needs no introduction.
Joshua's taking about 16oz a day. I talked with a lady with La Leche League (international breastfeeding organization). She gave me some really go recommendations - and more proof that fenugreek and blessed thistle actually work. Not that I didn't trust you, but I didn't want to try something that was a "sorta-kinda" thing. Sounds like fenugreek almost always works. I'm planning to get some tomorrow morning. I spent the day talking to friends, doctors, LLL, and pharmacies about electric pumps and herbal supplements. Ugh. I feel more confused than before. But at least I have more information.
Oceana, Joshua, and I made it out to our first event in town. Mainly Music is a mommy-and-me music group. It's just down the street at a church and a lot of my friends take their children. I've missed it (it doesn't run from early Dec thru early Feb) and then we were away for the first one last week.
So we left the house around 9 and walked to the doctor's office. (Don't get too impressed, it's just around the block). Joshua needed his bandages changed. So they checked him out and it's looking pretty good. His doctor Gisela (Gee-zilla) said she thinks his 'cele may be getting bigger. I think that's true - probably because the CSF pathways aren't right which may cause hydrocephalus. His is a bit different than a child with a normal skull - so it probably just makes the 'cele bigger. Of course this is all my opinion, but it is a "side effect" of encephaloceles.
Anyways, then we walked down the street (one more block) and went to MM. Oh, just to clarify - Joshua was in the sling and Oceana was in the stroller. We didn't buy a double stroller because we knew we wouldn't have Joshua long. And anyways, I love the sling. It's much more secure. Our roads are quite bumpy (they don't press down the asphalt here) and there's not always sidewalks everywhere - so a stroller would jostle him around more than I like.
Oceana had a blast. I only told her a few minutes before we left that we were going to see Eli. "Ee-yi?" It makes that girl move FAST! Margo (his mum) said he's a love-sick puppy waiting for Oceana. Haha. Isn't he such a cutie. This is the only clear picture of them - they ran too fast for my camera to catch them. Well if the camera does die... at least I can put in my "wish list" with Matt for a better camera. HEY! I didn't break the camera on purpose! :)
So we came home and put Oceana down for sleep. My plan was to "get something done...", instead I fell asleep on the couch with Joshua on my chest and woke up 2 1/2 hours later to Oceana crying. I opened her door and found her naked - diaper included - crying and waiting to be let out of :jail:. Ha. I have no idea how long she was there. I wonder if I slept through a lot of tears, she doesn't normally take her diaper off. Oops.
Matt was in Tauranga today doing a first aid course. Good, at least he's done it. We'll just have to stay close to him in case we ever need him. Haha. Don't mothers get a first aid degree after a certain number of children or a certain age. (All moms of boys over 3 right???) What about tomboys?
Joshua's taking about 16oz a day. I talked with a lady with La Leche League (international breastfeeding organization). She gave me some really go recommendations - and more proof that fenugreek and blessed thistle actually work. Not that I didn't trust you, but I didn't want to try something that was a "sorta-kinda" thing. Sounds like fenugreek almost always works. I'm planning to get some tomorrow morning. I spent the day talking to friends, doctors, LLL, and pharmacies about electric pumps and herbal supplements. Ugh. I feel more confused than before. But at least I have more information.
Oceana, Joshua, and I made it out to our first event in town. Mainly Music is a mommy-and-me music group. It's just down the street at a church and a lot of my friends take their children. I've missed it (it doesn't run from early Dec thru early Feb) and then we were away for the first one last week.
So we left the house around 9 and walked to the doctor's office. (Don't get too impressed, it's just around the block). Joshua needed his bandages changed. So they checked him out and it's looking pretty good. His doctor Gisela (Gee-zilla) said she thinks his 'cele may be getting bigger. I think that's true - probably because the CSF pathways aren't right which may cause hydrocephalus. His is a bit different than a child with a normal skull - so it probably just makes the 'cele bigger. Of course this is all my opinion, but it is a "side effect" of encephaloceles.
Anyways, then we walked down the street (one more block) and went to MM. Oh, just to clarify - Joshua was in the sling and Oceana was in the stroller. We didn't buy a double stroller because we knew we wouldn't have Joshua long. And anyways, I love the sling. It's much more secure. Our roads are quite bumpy (they don't press down the asphalt here) and there's not always sidewalks everywhere - so a stroller would jostle him around more than I like.
Oceana had a blast. I only told her a few minutes before we left that we were going to see Eli. "Ee-yi?" It makes that girl move FAST! Margo (his mum) said he's a love-sick puppy waiting for Oceana. Haha. Isn't he such a cutie. This is the only clear picture of them - they ran too fast for my camera to catch them. Well if the camera does die... at least I can put in my "wish list" with Matt for a better camera. HEY! I didn't break the camera on purpose! :)
So we came home and put Oceana down for sleep. My plan was to "get something done...", instead I fell asleep on the couch with Joshua on my chest and woke up 2 1/2 hours later to Oceana crying. I opened her door and found her naked - diaper included - crying and waiting to be let out of :jail:. Ha. I have no idea how long she was there. I wonder if I slept through a lot of tears, she doesn't normally take her diaper off. Oops.
Matt was in Tauranga today doing a first aid course. Good, at least he's done it. We'll just have to stay close to him in case we ever need him. Haha. Don't mothers get a first aid degree after a certain number of children or a certain age. (All moms of boys over 3 right???) What about tomboys?
Proud Auntie
I have two babies of my own. But none of my siblings have kids - so I've never been able to reeeealllly call myself an Auntie. But last night at 9:01pm Matt's sister Heather and her boyfriend Phil were delighted to welcome
Evan Jacob
7lbs 8oz 19in
How precious is that face? AK!
I wanna go cuddle this cutie!
Xo Evan- we love you! - Auntie Susie, Uncle Matt, and your cousins Oceana and Joshua
Evan Jacob
7lbs 8oz 19in
How precious is that face? AK!
I wanna go cuddle this cutie!
Xo Evan- we love you! - Auntie Susie, Uncle Matt, and your cousins Oceana and Joshua
Thursday, February 21, 2008
I managed...
...to run. I felt like my chest was gonna explode. Goodness gracious...
I really hope I get better at this.
I really hope I get better at this.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Day 45
Joshua's doing great today. He's eating tons. And we finally figured out the problem... the nipple on the bottle. I know - how simpel could it be?!?!?! We've been using the "newest" of the bottle nipples we had. I just assumed that would be best, because it was the cleanest. And it fits the top of the bottles that attach to my pump. I was talking to his Plunket (well-child) nurse and she suggested getting a preemie nipple with an easier flow so he didn't have to work so hard to eat. Dawn breaks over marble-head and I thought, "Wait, don't I have something like that?" I went rummaging through the bottle gear in the cupboard and found the Nuk nipple that I was giving by Livingston County's Social Services when Oceana was born.
I popped it on the bottle and gave Joshua an ounce of milk. 5 minutes later... the bottle was empty. WOW! So I gave him another 2 oz. 10 minutes later it was empty. And that's been the trend ever since I started using that nipple. He burps more (no duh, he's guzzling it down like a trucker at 7-11), but he's DRAINING his bottles. I'm impressed. The trend (like I said) was 8-9oz in a day. Yesterday was about 16oz, and only because I got some feedings messed up around dinner - it would have been closer to 18 or 20. I'm gonna aim for 18 today! That's the average for a baby his age! I'm so happy that he's doing better! Wow! If he keeps eating like this, we'll have him over 7lbs by the weekend! Woohoo!!!!
Does he look chunky yet? Well, he's still skinny - but he's over 19 1/2 inches long - which means I'm having to retire his preemie clothes because they're just way to short. In his footed-sleepers he's gotta keep his knees bent to stay in them! Haha. 19 1/2's still short for his age, but consider that his head is about 2 or 3 inches shorter than the average baby. We only measure to the top of his head, not the top of his cele.
In clarification to another poster: At present there aren't surgical options. We were offered a possibility after he was born that his doctors didn't expect him to survive through. We declined because we want him to pass away with us, not on some cold, sterile table. If there's a good option presented to us, we'll consider it. But a possibility that's prequiled by "We don't expect him to survive this surgery"... isn't an option in our books.
Oceana and I were playing with the camera on the way to Rotorua. Can you imagine being in the back seat of a small Nissan squished between two carseats? Yah. It's not fun. But I wanted to watch Joshua since they were bumpy and curvy roads. I just about fall out of the backseat when I get out.... "LAND AHOY". Ak!
I want to go running today. But juggling to babies between naps and feedings and then fighting off my desire to procastinate... I don't know if it's going to happen or not. Hope so...
I popped it on the bottle and gave Joshua an ounce of milk. 5 minutes later... the bottle was empty. WOW! So I gave him another 2 oz. 10 minutes later it was empty. And that's been the trend ever since I started using that nipple. He burps more (no duh, he's guzzling it down like a trucker at 7-11), but he's DRAINING his bottles. I'm impressed. The trend (like I said) was 8-9oz in a day. Yesterday was about 16oz, and only because I got some feedings messed up around dinner - it would have been closer to 18 or 20. I'm gonna aim for 18 today! That's the average for a baby his age! I'm so happy that he's doing better! Wow! If he keeps eating like this, we'll have him over 7lbs by the weekend! Woohoo!!!!
Does he look chunky yet? Well, he's still skinny - but he's over 19 1/2 inches long - which means I'm having to retire his preemie clothes because they're just way to short. In his footed-sleepers he's gotta keep his knees bent to stay in them! Haha. 19 1/2's still short for his age, but consider that his head is about 2 or 3 inches shorter than the average baby. We only measure to the top of his head, not the top of his cele.
In clarification to another poster: At present there aren't surgical options. We were offered a possibility after he was born that his doctors didn't expect him to survive through. We declined because we want him to pass away with us, not on some cold, sterile table. If there's a good option presented to us, we'll consider it. But a possibility that's prequiled by "We don't expect him to survive this surgery"... isn't an option in our books.
Oceana and I were playing with the camera on the way to Rotorua. Can you imagine being in the back seat of a small Nissan squished between two carseats? Yah. It's not fun. But I wanted to watch Joshua since they were bumpy and curvy roads. I just about fall out of the backseat when I get out.... "LAND AHOY". Ak!
I want to go running today. But juggling to babies between naps and feedings and then fighting off my desire to procastinate... I don't know if it's going to happen or not. Hope so...
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Day 44
Okay. I'm calm. Really. Please, understand that I was angry when I read the comment. And I didn't wait to comment. I should have waited, because my response probably wouldn't have been so crazy. And thank you for all 64 comments. Haha. I can see there's a few mommas out there who think like me. I know the person probably meant well. And some people don't understand how good breastmilk really is. There's still a stigma to breastfeeding (in some circles). I know formula's the "easy" answer. But please understand how much it bothers me that I'm trying my best, and someone questions my best. I have nothing better to do! I'm worrying about his weight all the time. I worry about whether or not he'll turn 7 weeks. I worry he won't be able to meet his Uncle Bryce, Auntie Christina, and Cousin Miles in 3 weeks. I worry my sister Havalah will never meet him. I worry that I've damaged his brain more by handling him. I worry that his bandages aren't clean, I worry that I'm hurting him and don't realize it, I worry about his cold hands and feet, I worry about him sleeping too much, I worry about his hands clenching up and flexing funny, I worry about Oceana loving him now and missing him later, I worry about Oceana "beating up" on him (poking him, pulling his legs, leaning on him), I worry about cleaning his bottles well enough, I worry ALL DAY LONG about the possibility of dropping him. I worry about everything! I'm a momma. And I'm a momma of a special boy.
His weight continues to frustrate me. However. I'm proud to announce that Joshua put on 3 oz this week. He's 6lbs 13oz now. I'm shooting for 7lbs by next week. He's got 6 days till his next appointment! I've gotten some really good advice. I've heard Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, and Brewer's Yeast will up my supply. I've heard about preemie nipples (less work for him) and preemie formula (higher calories). I've got a number for La Leche League who might have connections for an electric pump to help me up my supply, and cut down on the time I spend pumping. And I've started giving him some of his formula/breastmilk by syringe (so he doesn't waste energy eating!).
Much love to you all. Here's a few pictures of my exhausted little ones. :) Too cute.
Please pray that Joshua gains. And please pray that his cele heals. The smaller of the two exposed places has healed over. But the bigger one was :gunky: today. Heather's going to change the bandages ever other day (it was every 3 days while we were away) to keep it clean. Thanks everybody. Xo.
"I'm so tired Momma, don't wake me up!"
His weight continues to frustrate me. However. I'm proud to announce that Joshua put on 3 oz this week. He's 6lbs 13oz now. I'm shooting for 7lbs by next week. He's got 6 days till his next appointment! I've gotten some really good advice. I've heard Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, and Brewer's Yeast will up my supply. I've heard about preemie nipples (less work for him) and preemie formula (higher calories). I've got a number for La Leche League who might have connections for an electric pump to help me up my supply, and cut down on the time I spend pumping. And I've started giving him some of his formula/breastmilk by syringe (so he doesn't waste energy eating!).
Much love to you all. Here's a few pictures of my exhausted little ones. :) Too cute.
Please pray that Joshua gains. And please pray that his cele heals. The smaller of the two exposed places has healed over. But the bigger one was :gunky: today. Heather's going to change the bandages ever other day (it was every 3 days while we were away) to keep it clean. Thanks everybody. Xo.
"I'm so tired Momma, don't wake me up!"
"I'm tired too Momma...."
That's her pillow - on top of her. Whatever Oceana. So long a you're asleep.
Opinion only
And for your uninformed self here's some information - I'm feeding him as much as I can. 9 oz is the max I can get into him. It takes him at least an hour to take 1 oz by bottle. So try more than 9 oz and what do you do all day? Walk around with a bottle in your hand. And I am using formula dimwit.
And I will "worry about breastfeeding". Thanks very much.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Day 43 - And we're back!
Hey there you faithful checkers-inners. :) Joshua's doing great! Thanks for your prayers. We had a great weekend, and changing his dressings went fine. I even managed to change them on my own. I only had to change them on Sunday, which means he's not leaking through the bandages for 3 whole days! I'm feeding him all the time - like every 2 or 3 hours. He's getting about 8 or 9 oz a day. I want more in him, but that's what I can get in him now. Hopefully he'll pick up in a few days. I'm giving him expressed breastmilk as much as possible, but supplementing 2 or 3 oz a day with formula. I'm having a hard time getting my production up to meet his needs.
We've been holding him in a sling a lot, and I think that'll help him gain weight too. That's my theory anyways.
More updates to follow. We're not home just yet, so I can't relax and send pictures.
XO
We've been holding him in a sling a lot, and I think that'll help him gain weight too. That's my theory anyways.
More updates to follow. We're not home just yet, so I can't relax and send pictures.
XO
Friday, February 15, 2008
sorry its been a while
Hi Everybody! I'm Susie's little sister Havalah. She asked me to update for her while she was out of town. I dont have anything new to tell you except that Susie's trying to feed Joshua every 2 -3 hours so he can gain weight. He's doing well. If I hear anything new, I will update again. thanks for reading.
*Please pray that he will be able to gain weight this week!
*Please pray that he will be able to gain weight this week!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Day 38
Joshua's good this morning. His dressings went for two days and didn't wet all the bandages - so that's good. Pray for me this weekend, I'll have to change his dressings. I'm pretty confident, but it's the first time I'll have to do it.
I'm trying to feed him every 3 hrs, except at night when he sleeps through. And I'm taking some formula with me so that I can feed him more often if I need to. I don't like formula normally - but I just want him to gain some weight! Some extra calories won't hurt him! :)
Thanks for all your reassuring comments this morning. You're wonderful. :)
I'm off to finish the rest of the stuff - I can't think of something to do - which means I've forgotten somethign. I'm positive! :) Xo - Susie
I'm trying to feed him every 3 hrs, except at night when he sleeps through. And I'm taking some formula with me so that I can feed him more often if I need to. I don't like formula normally - but I just want him to gain some weight! Some extra calories won't hurt him! :)
Thanks for all your reassuring comments this morning. You're wonderful. :)
I'm off to finish the rest of the stuff - I can't think of something to do - which means I've forgotten somethign. I'm positive! :) Xo - Susie
Just so ya know...
Matt and I are going to the "Inaugural Marine Reach Global Summit 2008" this weekend. In English that means the first conference that everybody's coming to for the organization we work for! Haha. It's at a camp that doesn't have an incredible amount of internet flying around... so I don't know if I'll be able to blog all weekend. Ok - weekend is an understatement - more like Thursday through Tuesday. BUT! Just so you don't flip out, my sister (hopefully) has accepted my request to blog for me. I'll try my best to get her information - which could prove difficult since she's living in NY state, and I'm in NZ. But we'll try! At least she can tell you nothing's wrong. She'll definitely know if something's wrong. On that note. Please pray with us that Joshua starts gaining weight. It really really really bothers me that he's not gaining weight. Just to give you an idea - click on John & Anna Coyle on the sidebar. Austin, their son, is just two days older than Joshua. So it should give you a vague idea of the kind of weight he should be gaining. I'm really irritated that he's still under 7lbs. I can't figure out if I'm not feeding him enough, I'm not producing enough, his suck isn't as good as I think it is, I'm not producing "quality" milk, etc... Can't be sure, but I know for sure that I want him to wow his nurse next week by being over 7lbs. That's my goal. 6oz in a week is not too much to expect. Except that he probably hasn't gained that much in his entire 5 weeks. So please pray with me that he does it. My non-scientific-theory is that if he's bigger, he'll be stronger. You should see his bare bottom - he looks like he's wasting away coz its so skinny. I can see the outlines of his bones. I really don't like that. I don't think he's wasting away, but he should be gaining.
This lil' man's looking pretty comfy huh?
This lil' man's looking pretty comfy huh?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Day 37
All is well this morning. We are going to Tauranga for the first time, it's an hour away. I have a meeting for this conference (this weekend) and we need to do some shopping for the gift baskets. Joshua had a doctor's appointment, but they had an electrical storm yesterday - messing up some equiptment - so our appointment is moved to Friday.
We're watching Cinderella ... again ... we're up to once a day no. Hmm...
Cathy P. asked how do I burp him?
Good question! I usually lay him on my chest with his head and cele laying on my upper chest - so his head's nearly hitting my chin. That works best, but if he won't burp - I lay him on my lap (tummy-down). It's essentially the same. just w/ a bit of finesse.
And the recipe for the biscuits is simple:
It's buttermilk biscuits, but I rarely end up doing the buttermilk part.
2 c flour
1 t salt
1 t baking powder
2 T butter
1 c milk w/ 1 T vinegar
Let milk and vinegar stand a minute - this is quicky-buttermilk. Rub in butter with dry ingredients and add milk. Pat out on floured board, cut with a cutter (a plastic cup works well too). Yesterday I just cut them in squares to save time. Bake at 350F (180C) for 10 min.
We're watching Cinderella ... again ... we're up to once a day no. Hmm...
Cathy P. asked how do I burp him?
Good question! I usually lay him on my chest with his head and cele laying on my upper chest - so his head's nearly hitting my chin. That works best, but if he won't burp - I lay him on my lap (tummy-down). It's essentially the same. just w/ a bit of finesse.
And the recipe for the biscuits is simple:
It's buttermilk biscuits, but I rarely end up doing the buttermilk part.
2 c flour
1 t salt
1 t baking powder
2 T butter
1 c milk w/ 1 T vinegar
Let milk and vinegar stand a minute - this is quicky-buttermilk. Rub in butter with dry ingredients and add milk. Pat out on floured board, cut with a cutter (a plastic cup works well too). Yesterday I just cut them in squares to save time. Bake at 350F (180C) for 10 min.
Day 36
A few unrelated thoughts.
I baked today. Because we're going away for 5 days this weekend. And I need snacks that don't look like big wads of sugar. Those are buttermilk biscuits and peach yogurt muffins. Don't worry... I'll still make lil' wads of sugar to go along with them... (coz if all else fails, Mummy needs snacks too... even though the scale numbers are not in agreement with Mummy's desires...)
This is a Joshua smile. It's the closest we get to a smile.
Joshua's having a nap behind me. It was a long day. Heather came this morning to check his cele and change the dressings. We're going back to changing them every two days (that means the padding's not getting soaked!). We've had some issues over the past few days about the payment for Heather's services. We had it covered with by a service called ACC, but they were trying to deny us coverage. So after calls from me, his doctor, and Heather, it looks more positive. We got proactive about it - even sent them pictures of the wound so they'd see what was really going on. They said because it's a pre-existing condition it's not something they'll cover. Hopefully that will be figured out soon. However, Heather's said that if it's denied again she'll still come and offer her services free-of-charge. She's such a blessing. I can't begin to tell you what a blessing she is!
Another nurse today - Rosemary - came from Plunket to see Joshua. Plunket does well-child checkups here in New Zealand - free of charge for children under 5 years of age. It's really awesome! Rosemary knows Oceana from all her baby visits and came to see Joshua today, right here at the house. I was hoping Joshua had gained weight - but he hasn't... Not since 2 1/2 weeks ago. So he's still 3010 grams - or 6lbs 10oz. There's a few possibilities for this: either the scale we used 2 1/2 weeks ago wasn't correct, or he's not gaining weight. It's possible that since he's not moving a lot, not exerting much energy, he doesn't need to eat as much. That would have a big effect on his weight gain. So, like a good mummy, what did I do today? Fed him more... and I'm gonna feed him twice more before bed. I was convinced he'd gained weight... so I'm a bit frustrated with that. I'm really hoping he'll have gained weight by his appointment next Wednesday. For you medical personnel who want to know: His hips are fine, his spine is good, his man-bits haven't decended, his baby acne's right on schedule, and his arm/hand reflexes aren't up to par. It appears that he's got some sort of defect - like cerebral palsy-ish. It's hard to put it in medical terms, but his hands and arms flex and clench like that... and he doesn't grasp fingers like he should at 5 weeks.
Another thought: Jacob Ryan Fahmer's parents - on the side bar - had some amazing things to say today. I hope you'll go take a look. It's called Choose Life.
I baked today. Because we're going away for 5 days this weekend. And I need snacks that don't look like big wads of sugar. Those are buttermilk biscuits and peach yogurt muffins. Don't worry... I'll still make lil' wads of sugar to go along with them... (coz if all else fails, Mummy needs snacks too... even though the scale numbers are not in agreement with Mummy's desires...)
This is a Joshua smile. It's the closest we get to a smile.
Joshua's having a nap behind me. It was a long day. Heather came this morning to check his cele and change the dressings. We're going back to changing them every two days (that means the padding's not getting soaked!). We've had some issues over the past few days about the payment for Heather's services. We had it covered with by a service called ACC, but they were trying to deny us coverage. So after calls from me, his doctor, and Heather, it looks more positive. We got proactive about it - even sent them pictures of the wound so they'd see what was really going on. They said because it's a pre-existing condition it's not something they'll cover. Hopefully that will be figured out soon. However, Heather's said that if it's denied again she'll still come and offer her services free-of-charge. She's such a blessing. I can't begin to tell you what a blessing she is!
Another nurse today - Rosemary - came from Plunket to see Joshua. Plunket does well-child checkups here in New Zealand - free of charge for children under 5 years of age. It's really awesome! Rosemary knows Oceana from all her baby visits and came to see Joshua today, right here at the house. I was hoping Joshua had gained weight - but he hasn't... Not since 2 1/2 weeks ago. So he's still 3010 grams - or 6lbs 10oz. There's a few possibilities for this: either the scale we used 2 1/2 weeks ago wasn't correct, or he's not gaining weight. It's possible that since he's not moving a lot, not exerting much energy, he doesn't need to eat as much. That would have a big effect on his weight gain. So, like a good mummy, what did I do today? Fed him more... and I'm gonna feed him twice more before bed. I was convinced he'd gained weight... so I'm a bit frustrated with that. I'm really hoping he'll have gained weight by his appointment next Wednesday. For you medical personnel who want to know: His hips are fine, his spine is good, his man-bits haven't decended, his baby acne's right on schedule, and his arm/hand reflexes aren't up to par. It appears that he's got some sort of defect - like cerebral palsy-ish. It's hard to put it in medical terms, but his hands and arms flex and clench like that... and he doesn't grasp fingers like he should at 5 weeks.
Another thought: Jacob Ryan Fahmer's parents - on the side bar - had some amazing things to say today. I hope you'll go take a look. It's called Choose Life.
Monday, February 11, 2008
??? Questions ??? 8
*What happens as Joshua grows older and moves? What about the doctors reconstructing a skull?
Part of that question is answered here.
In terms of the doctors reconstructing a skull: I say all the time to people, "I think we're expecting a little more of the medical community than they can give." We have not been presented with such an option. It's never been mentioned. It's never been intimated. I don't think it's possible. That was my initial thought when we discovered Joshua's diagnosis. In fact, I said on more than one occasion: "Can't they just open his head, put the brain back in, and close it up???" But it's more than that. And in terms of reconstructing a skull... it may be possible. But the brain tissue is what the radiologist and neonatologist called, "Bad brain tissue". It's all there - but it's not doing it's job (apparently). All the things he's doing are brain stem and cerebellum activities. It's his cerebrum that's in the sack, not the brain stem or cerebellum. Cerebrum does stuff that he'll develop into - maybe...
There's no telling if he's using that part of his brain. There's also the issue of fluid pathways. Because his brain hasn't grown under it's ideal conditions (under pressure inside the skull) the cerebral spinal fluid pathways most likely did not grow properly. This means that even if they put his "brain back in" it would create more problems because the fluid won't flow right, the brain might not connect right. I described it - a while back - that his brain is like an egg. If you boil an egg you've got a shell, a white, and a yolk. If you crack it open and scramble it - you have just that - scrambled egg. Joshua's brain has most likely grown that way.
Part of that question is answered here.
In terms of the doctors reconstructing a skull: I say all the time to people, "I think we're expecting a little more of the medical community than they can give." We have not been presented with such an option. It's never been mentioned. It's never been intimated. I don't think it's possible. That was my initial thought when we discovered Joshua's diagnosis. In fact, I said on more than one occasion: "Can't they just open his head, put the brain back in, and close it up???" But it's more than that. And in terms of reconstructing a skull... it may be possible. But the brain tissue is what the radiologist and neonatologist called, "Bad brain tissue". It's all there - but it's not doing it's job (apparently). All the things he's doing are brain stem and cerebellum activities. It's his cerebrum that's in the sack, not the brain stem or cerebellum. Cerebrum does stuff that he'll develop into - maybe...
There's no telling if he's using that part of his brain. There's also the issue of fluid pathways. Because his brain hasn't grown under it's ideal conditions (under pressure inside the skull) the cerebral spinal fluid pathways most likely did not grow properly. This means that even if they put his "brain back in" it would create more problems because the fluid won't flow right, the brain might not connect right. I described it - a while back - that his brain is like an egg. If you boil an egg you've got a shell, a white, and a yolk. If you crack it open and scramble it - you have just that - scrambled egg. Joshua's brain has most likely grown that way.
CD DAY
Today was CD DAY. Compact disc? No. Certificate of deposit? No.
No, today was cloth diaper day. On my mommies internet club CD is the abbreviation for cloth diapers. And whyyyyyy was today CD Day? Because we ran out of diapers this morning. Both packs. And Daddy was gone. With the only car.
I've done cloth diapers before. I have all the gear. It doesn't bother me. But it was ironic that we ran out of both packs within 10 minutes of each other. CDing a newborn is a whole different ballgame to the toddler! I had to fold it in half and down a 1/3 again. Teeny bottom! And that's why his diaper looks like it's falling off. Because it was. Good thing he's not moving around!
Oceana fell asleep like this. I'm sure that's her daddy's genetics...it's certainly not mine. I don't think I can look that relaxed...even if I try!
No, today was cloth diaper day. On my mommies internet club CD is the abbreviation for cloth diapers. And whyyyyyy was today CD Day? Because we ran out of diapers this morning. Both packs. And Daddy was gone. With the only car.
I've done cloth diapers before. I have all the gear. It doesn't bother me. But it was ironic that we ran out of both packs within 10 minutes of each other. CDing a newborn is a whole different ballgame to the toddler! I had to fold it in half and down a 1/3 again. Teeny bottom! And that's why his diaper looks like it's falling off. Because it was. Good thing he's not moving around!
Oceana fell asleep like this. I'm sure that's her daddy's genetics...it's certainly not mine. I don't think I can look that relaxed...even if I try!
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don't ya think 8 or 9 oz a day is not enough? no wonder he is not gaining weight. maybe you should use more formula instead of worrying about breastfeeding.