Monday, February 25, 2008

Day 49 - 7 weeks

Daddy made a cake for Joshua's 7 week birthday. Of course he made it after Oceana was asleep (we are slowly learning that sugar - past about 5pm - is a stupid idea. And Joshua certainly didn't eat any. But we did sing Happy Birthday. Ok, I sang Happy Birthday. But when you have a birthday part every week you sort of lose the luster for big shindigs. However, we will be having a birthday party when Bryce, Christina, and Miles visit - because it's more fun celebrating with people. My parents would love to have a birthday party too, but it seems they're always gone on Mondays. One of these days Mum... we'll pack all day and then party all night, ok? Or at least until 8pm...
That's the newest news. Matt and I have decided we're moving. To Tauranga. It's a city about an hour south of Waihi Beach. I've taken a job with Marine Reach Ministries (the ship's organization) as the Events Coordinator and writer/designer/organizer for Making Waves magazine. Matt's having a meeting (hopefully) this week with our director to discuss working for MRM full time. But it's difficult to work for an organization that is an hour away. Especially when we have a non-toll-call phone. Ick. So we're going to be looking at houses to rent this week - please pray that we find something in a good area, for a good price, and that everything goes smoothly in that respect.
We want this to be over and done with as soon as possible (moved in by April 1) because Mum and Dad are planning to rent this house out (since they're going to be travelling for 6 months this year). So this whole (5 bedroom) house has to be cleared, cleaned, and revamped for renting in the next 3 - 5 weeks. AK! And there's Joshua and Oceana to contend with.
So I've started packing. But I'm at that point that it's difficult to decide

1. What I need
2. What I want
3. What can be stored
4. What I can't touch because it's my mother's
5. If I want lots of furniture or a little furniture
6. If I want every kitchen appliance
7. What I can throw out/online auction/pack without repercussions from my mother's direction

Oh this is gonna be fun. And tonight I started working on my job (first time I've gotten a ToDo list - thanks Jo!) and I'm suddenly realizing how busy I'm gonna get.

Don't worry. I know this post is going to draw some "You should lay low! Don't do too much! You need to concentrate on Joshua!" comments. But seriously, we've been SITTING for 7 weeks (and longer, because we did it for the 5 weeks before he was born too) and it's getting to us. There's nothing like prolonged periods of apathy/induced laziness to make you feel like sinking your teeth into something! There's only so much time I can spend sitting around the house and dwelling on the situation. And if something happens with Joshua - our lives will go on hold again. We are prepared for that. Not so much prepared, as aware. We know it might happen. And we'll make the best decision for our family at that time - no matter what the situation is.

Ya'll are so cute when you worry about me/us. Haha. It's strange to me. I'm one of those self-proclaimed tough 'ole birds. Haha. I'm usually trying to hold it all together, make everything alright, nothing's gonna bother me - etc etc. But suddenly I'm getting (everyday) these comments about "You're just amazing Susie!", "What a wonderful Mom", etc...
Let me tell you. There's nothing quite like reading that stuff and thinking in my mind "What are they talking about?" or "If they'd only just seem me rail on my poor daughter for spilling her water." or "Are they joking?" or "I guess it's just an easy thing to say when you don't know what to say." But I do appreciate it. I'm realizing that maybe... just maybe... I am. You know how when you're about 13 years old and going through puberty you get comments about "You're such a beautiful young woman."? Ugh. I turned ninety-seven shades of red, bumbled and mumbled and managed to say something like, "Yah right!" because I couldn't take a compliment. The only reason I'm getting better at that is because I can say, "Uh. Thanks. I'm trying." Seriously - I think I say it between once and a dozen times a day. I still have that "Yah right!" reaction in my head - I've just trained my mouth to respond otherwise.

But thank you. I'm beginning (BEGINNING) to believe it. Haha. My house is still a mess. I'm still an iffy mom a lot of the time. I'm still a dog-yeller-atter. I'm still ... useless at taking compliments.


PS - Joshua's going for a weigh in a 1:30 tomorrow (7:30pm EST)!


  1. Susie, you ARE a good mom. Don't beat yourself up. Sure, you can look and see all those things you did wrong and say, "I'm a horrible mom!" OR you can give those up to God, accept that as long as you are still human you will still have moments, and move forward knowing that you are a good spite of your moments! For what it's worth, I'd like to meet a mom who does it all right! I know I screw up plenty! Thank God no one ever acused me of being a perfect mom.

    Good luck on the house hunting. How very exciting! I will be praying for you. I'm glad you are getting out of the house too. I know what it's like to be in the house day in and day out staring at the same 4 walls. To compound that with a grave situation, I think I'd become certifiable! I think they would have to hospitalize me and put me on the really nifty meds. Ha ha ha. Good luck on your new endeavors!

    Lots of Love,


  2. Good for your family! I am glad to see you are "moving on" in the Lord! I think you are doing what is best for your whole family - let the Lord work out all the details. Please know that we are praying for you! I am excited to see what adventures the Lord leads you in!!!

    By the way you ARE a wonderful mom - just like me - LOL!!! I'm not good at accepting compliments either! I, like you, think if only they knew, saw or heard a day in my house! But you know what...the Lord does see, hear and know and loves us just the same! And of course, HE is there to help us do better too!

    Love & Prayers, PAM & Family

  3. Oh my gosh, are you really only 22?
    You have no idea how amazing that is. You seem so strong for only age 22, you handle everything sensibly. Seriously woman, you amaze me. I only started reading yesterday, and I am baffled.
    Some of my friends are 22, and I can't imagine them in your situation! Gosh, don't be amshamed at all. I can totally relate to the "Yah right!" since I was 13 only two years ago, but this is differint. You deseve these comments, beacuse you are truly doing amazing.

  4. Hey Susie, Rae here. I can't remember my log in so this is gonna come up anonymous.
    I think every mother goes through the thought process of "am I a good mother?" We want to do what is best for our kids. Don't worry you are not the only one who has growled your kid and then wondered what on earth you are doing. You are a great mum.
    Hey, if you would like help packing, cleaning, transporting or
    If you want to do it all yourself maybe we can take Oceana to the park for a couple of hours.
    Please give me a call, if I can help I'd love to give you a hand. My email is

  5. I know people in Taurunga. If you want, I could get the name of their church and hook you up? They are wonderful people, and from what I've heard, their church rocks.

    My son has autism spectrum disorder. It always makes me feel a little squirmy when people praise me for anything for the same reasons... "heck, you didn't see me yesterday, then"... You just keep doing what you're doing, in your own realm of 'normal' and because it's different to theirs, it looks courageous and insperational.

    Keep your chin up hunny. In the face of everything, to me, it looks like you're doing great.

  6. I think it's hard to hear nice things about yourself--especially when you ARE the Mom. You're so used to taking care of everyone else that you forget you rock too! =)

    Question, are there any new plans for Joshua's cele? I mean, clearly he doesn't appear to be going anywhere anytime soon (thank God for him, huh?). And like you've said before he wouldn't be able to leave it out as he grows/moves/etc. Are there just no surgical options for him in NZ or no surgical options in general? I ask because many of us are from the US and maybe one of us knows someone (surgeon) who might be able to do something here? Sorry if this is sort of a lame question (meaning, I'm sure you've searched the ends of the earth for help)...

  7. Hi Susie! First I want to thank you for letting me into your blog and into your family's life. I have been reading and praying for your family since before Joshua was born. My family goes to the same church as Christina & Bryce. I am so impressed with your strength and your faith to hold it all together. I am wondering if there is anything that your family needs, that we could possibly give to the Taylor's before the begin their journey? Let me know. Your family is beautiful! And you are a great mom! Crystal Bickel
    you can email me at and let me know if there is anything that we can send with them.

  8. hey susy!
    its jeannette, from dts.
    so ive been reading away at all..
    yes all of your posts.
    since the very begining.
    and dang i dont have a clue what to say.
    except that since the very begining of all of this (at base) joshua has been my main prayer focus.
    the only one i remember to pray for everyday... sometimes several times a day.
    which is to say the least a miracle.
    your little boy who is sooo flippin adorable has made a huge impact on my life.
    i used to pray for him every single time i saw you.. which at times was repetitive in like a 20 minute period (if say we were in the Aframe together :D). but none the lesss i prayed/interceeded/everything.
    mostly i just wanted to thank you for sharing him with me.
    and oce.
    God only knows how much of an impact she had/has on my heart for life.
    im convinced she has the biggest heart on this earth.

    i used to have visions about her all the time, showing random acts of love.
    my goodness shes cute.

    so over the months God (for unknow reasons to me) has put you all on my heart big time.
    and even though i barely know you all.
    i feel like ive known you forever.
    but i guess gods cool like that.
    i hope and pray that ill see you all again some day.
    and i wish i could be there right now, course i am annoying so i doubt youd want me around but still :D.

    anyways just wanted to let you know that im a reader, and a hard core prayer.
    and you make wonderful babies!
    thanks for everything!
    love heaps and heaps and heaps!

    (email is
    no clue is you have facebook , im guessing not, bbut if so im on there too.

    p.s. i love all yer knitting and everything! theyre so adorable! how do you keep oce away from it all? id have to say the lions my favorite. GENIUS! :D

    p.s.s. oo also. the compliment thing made me laugh, becuase i am the exact same way... compliments, gifts, andthing that is getting and not giving... im terrible at recieve. course my DTS classmates seem to be pretty good at stretching me for that and giving me tons of stuff. so im gradually learning. but still not the greatest. at all. :D

    ok shutting up now!
    hugs times a million!

  9. Thank you for these updates! You are doing great! You are helping a lot of people with your humble honesty. You truly give a great witness to the command of "take up your crosas and follow Me."