Monday, July 7, 2008

6 months

6 months ago this moment I was coming home from the hospital with my little boy. He was wedged awkwardly into his carseat, since we hadn't learned how to put him in easily yet. He was alive. I kept checking him to see if he was breathing. I sat in the backseat and held onto him. Matt drove, and my mother-in-law sat with him.

My little boy only lived for 67 days. But I'm so happy we got to love on him for that long. In a few weeks he'll be gone twice as long as he was here. It's so disturbing to me. But I'm happy with what I can be. I got him. I got to kiss him. I got to hold him. I had time.

*Shua - Miss you Buddy. Hugs and kisses from Mummy.*


  1. What a sweet peaceful photo..
    I've been reading your blog for a while but not sure if I've commented before.. sometimes I start a comment but then don't know quite what to say so I just keep lurking.
    But thought I should finally say hi, and I enjoy reading about you & your precious family.


  2. Thinking of you today from Dallas...your sweet boy touched so many lives all over the world...I know you are proud!!!!

  3. What an awesome day that was...and I can honestly say that I am thankful for 67 days. We miss you too, Joshua.

  4. I still check in with you daily. I love to see life through others eyes. Especially, Godly Women's Eyes.

    I think about Joshua everyday and little Jacob. For some reason those 2 have been printed on my heart and soul for life. I've read of many others but these two sweet gentlemen have touched me and their families have also.

    I will keep you in my prayers yet still.

    Oceana's "Shua" is so adorable.... I think it is wonderful you are making memories with Joshua even still today. He is such an message from God.... All in God's timing. We can use that in our lives EVERYDAY.

  5. Lots of love to you all on this very special day. That picture is really beautiful.

  6. It's amazing how time passes on and on yet some things seem like yesterday. To open your blog and see Joshua made me feel for a moment like he was still here.

  7. That was always one of my favorite photos. He is so beautiful! Saying a prayer for you guys.

  8. He was such a beautiful boy and touched the heats of so many. Hope you have an amazing date night!

  9. Love the photo, it's awesome!

    On the 19th my family is having a birthday party for my nephew who would have been 7 this year. The party is also a fundraiser for the lending library that was started in his name after he passed. Have you considered having a birthday party for Joshua when the time comes? We all write messages on balloons and release them to heaven, it's a beautiful time to celebrate his life.

  10. Ya know, I hadn't thought of that, but I bet the carseat thing was 'interesting' to try to figure out. Funny the things we learn as parents that we never expected to need to learn, huh?

  11. beautiful picture and beautiful words to your precious son.


  12. Dear One, many, many year ago we had our second child. And she only lived a day and a half. What was wrong was inside, and not known, immediately. But I knew...

    As I said, many, many years ago. Back then, the father was not in the birthing room, was not allowed to hold the baby. So he never held her. Which was very hard on him.

    But, I got to come home to our small daughter {who will be 49 yrs.,this fall}, which was a blessing. And we went on to have two healthy sons.

    It hurt for a long, long time though. But time really does heal. It really, really does.

    Gentle hugs to you and your husband,
    'Miss' Mari-Nanci
    [Upper NE of the USA}

  13. hello. i dnt noe were to start. im only 14 yrs old bt dis has truthly touch me. its jst amazinq!
    ive never read anything lik dis b4 && rlly sorry bout wat happend bt in another part happy bcuz even thouqh of wat happend yur still a family && yu jst noe dat happens wat happens diz lil beatiful son of yurs will always protect yu. i wanted to forward diz story to ma fwiends so i posted bulletins && comments in myspace. hope it dsnt bodher.

  14. Blessings to you. I somehow came across your site. I am blessed to have found such couragous and compassionate beings. May you continue to reap the blessings and love which you extend to us all.


  15. Susie, I just came to your blog via facebook (someone posted a link in response to someone else sharing a loved one is expecting a baby with encepholocele) and read your beautiful posts about your son. Your strength and faith are absolutely inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing your story. All the best to you and all of your family.