Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Opinion only

Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't ya think 8 or 9 oz a day is not enough? no wonder he is not gaining weight. maybe you should use more formula instead of worrying about breastfeeding.

When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. And please, if you must criticize my parenting, leave your name so I can yell at you. Try this kind of comment with a woman in real-life-face-to-face and see if you walk away. Thanks very much for your constructive criticism. It sucks.

And for your uninformed self here's some information - I'm feeding him as much as I can. 9 oz is the max I can get into him. It takes him at least an hour to take 1 oz by bottle. So try more than 9 oz and what do you do all day? Walk around with a bottle in your hand. And I am using formula dimwit.

And I will "worry about breastfeeding". Thanks very much.

61 comments:

  1. It sounds like you're doing an amazing job in extremely difficult circumstances. I don't think ANYONE is in a situation to judge or criticise right now. Hopefully they'll have the intelligence to engage brain before considering making comments like that in the future.
    p.s you're spot on about the slinging helping by keeping him close. You're doing a fab job!

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  2. Hello Susie,

    Glad you are all doing well.
    On a couple other sites I visit-someone has left not very nice comments too. It is hard to believe someone can just blogjump and leave a nasty comment.

    We are praying for you all still.
    Krista

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  3. DO NOT LISTEN to people like that!!! You are doing the best for him, never second guess yourself!! Keep up the good work, mama!!!(((((hugs from one nursing mommy to another))))))

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  4. Well said!!!
    I applaud you for your decision on BFing! You're doing the absolute best for your little boy!

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  5. You go girl! Not that you need to justify yourself to anonymous comment posters...you know as well as I know that breast feeding is the best for him and supplementing w/ the formula will only help fill him up and help to put on the weight. And I am sure that your/his doctors are aware of his feeding and eating habits and are okay w/ what you are doing. Don't let someone that you don't even know bring you down nor upset you. You are doing a great job w/ Joshua and all that you have going on. Keep up the good work. He will gain in due time and at his own pace. Due to his diagnosis I am thinking that he will be on his own growth chart and not the standard one. I know that is what we are facing w/ our unborn baby's diagnosis too. I am 34 weeks pregnant and our baby girl is about 3 lbs 10 oz. My other daughter born at 39 1/2 weeks was 8 lbs 1 oz. So by now our unborn, if "normal" should be over 5 lbs. For us, trisomy 18 has it's own grown charts to go by. Maybe Joshua's diagnosis does too. Hang in there! And keep doing what you are doing! Prayers are being lifted up and sent your way from Pittsburgh, PA! Chrissy

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  6. Please continue to give your precious son YOUR breastmilk! It is the best thing you can do for him. I am so proud of your commitment to make sure that you give him the best. Keep up the good work. Love, Lactation counselor

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  7. THAT MADE MY BLOOD BOIL!
    Dear Anon.
    Have you ever bothered to read anything about formula, and I mean other than the lovely literature the company puts out.
    The chemicals in formula are the same as antifreeze, how about the propellants that get the petrol in to your car? Or oh wait... how about the side effects that they seem to have left out until the fine print... like gastro-intestinal problems and vomiting are NORMAL!
    Good grief. Breast milk was all babies used for thousands of years! Lets remember that!
    Rock on Susie, if it didn't cost so much, I'd send you my 'I make breastmilk! What is your superpower?' shirt!

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  8. *cheer* That was just rude to leave a comment like that. My goodness, I can definently understand its not your production thats limiting his intake. You are doing lovely with everything, been reading for a very long time now.

    Keep it up! God Bless!

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  9. Wow! I would feel attacked by that comment! How does that support you in any way? Phew! Remind me never to get on your bad side! LOL! Just to cheer you up, remember that opinions are like butt holes. Everyone has one and they are usually full of crap!

    Love ya!

    Debbie

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  10. dang. go Susie! :)

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  11. I am not sure how I found your blog, but I wanted to let you know that I admire your strength and courage. You are so young and have so much on your plate. I am so thankful that you know the Lord and you are allowing Him to forge your path. Your children are absolutely beautiful. I am praying that you would stay encouraged and not discouraged by people who anonymously (cowardly) leave comments on how you are to live your life. I guess that some people feel the need to hurt others in order to cover up some hurt in their lives. Trust your instincts as a mother, savor each moment you have been given with your children and live for God, pressing on toward the prize. Having been a breastfeeding mom, I do know that stress can cause a hiccup in the milk production process. Keep yourself hydrated and do your best to be relaxed. You are doing a great job! Take care of yourself and have a blessed day!

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  12. Susie - This is for your benefit and I don't want your comments section to be overrun with the crazies who feel the need to be nasty - so please don't post my response, but...
    Sadly - people all over feel it's okay to make comments like that (even to your face). There will always be someone willing to criticize your parenting (usually who doesn't have children of their own). Take heart though - you are not accountable to them for your parenting. You are accountable to Matt and to God. From reading your blog (I don't know you personally) it seems as though you and Matt are praying for wisdom about what is best for Joshua. Doing that is EXACTLY what you should be doing. I had a baby who didn't like to eat either - though he's not in the same situation your Joshua is, I just wanted you to know you are not alone in the "babies who hate to eat" club :). It doesn't make you a bad parent - I think the fact that Joshua is doing so well at this point is a testament to your good care for him. I'll be praying for you guys.
    --Jenny

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  13. Obviously you know that breastfeeding is something to worry about. You know your child and know how much you can push his little stomach to take as much as your giving him.
    uneducated people usually just flap their lips wildly for no good reason. (Have you seen the new BF study that found stem cells in breastmilk? Isn't God cool?)

    keeping you in prayer...
    Dana in Fl.

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  14. Whoa girl! Calm down!!! Don't let this person get you so riled up! They obviously were not thinking and should have kept such opinions to themselves! You are doing a wonderful job - the best with the Lord's help! Stand firm in your convictions and the encouragement of those of us who know you and love you!

    Personally, breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for him right now - no matter how much or how little he gets! He obviously is showing no signs of pain so I think you are right on track! If he was fussing, etc. that would be another thing! I breastfed all three of my kids and we do worry at times if they were/are getting enough and you have to not watch the numbers so much and just relax and trust the Lord that if Joshua isn't getting enough he'll let you know. And you know what, if not, God will take care of him!!!

    We love you lots and are praying for you all!!!

    Love & Prayers, PAM

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  15. My, oh my. People can say the most stupid things, can't they?

    They simply don't get it.

    Any of it.

    I'm sorry.

    Anonymous, you slurp.

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  16. How rude. Someone needs to mind their own business and shut the heck up! I think you are doing a great job!
    I have lurked for a long time.

    -Muriel
    www.2kaz4sophie.blogspot.com

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  17. I think you're doing a great job! Don't let others bring you down!

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  18. Way to go Susie!!! No one should even question his feedings! You are his mother and know exactly what he needs and when! I have worked in a few daycares in my life, and have seen babies who just didn't get tons of milk in...every baby is different as to how much they drink....Joshua is lovely! He just has your thinner genes for sure! :) He's a doll and honestly he will take in what he can and you are doing a wonderful job with him!!! :) And second it is your business not anybody else's as to what he does or does not do...it is horrible that someone would say such a thing...YOu are an amazing woman...all you do:) And no one has the right to question what you do...just remember you are an amazing parent and have a beautiful baby boy:) *hugs!*

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  19. Susie, there are always going to be critics - try not to let them hurt you. People who say things to bring other people down are usually dealing with something dark inside themselves. Don't let them darken the light inside you.

    You are doing the absolute best you can for Joshua. I think one suggestion I would have, is maybe try preemie formula. (Maybe you already are, I don't know.) I know it has more calories so it could help him put on weight. There are also lots of supplements you can get for yourself to help boost your supply. Fenugreek is one, and Brewer's Yeast. When I had supply issues with my middle daughter, I hooked myself up the pump all day it seemed. It did help production so even though she had issues nursing from me, I had plenty to go around eventually. (She has mild cerebral palsy that affected her suck reflex.)

    Try not to stress about what people think. Until they have walked in your shoes, no one can judge you. You are doing all you can, in the best way you know how, with the best help you could ever ask for - the Lord.

    You go girl - you are doing a great job!

    ~Quaker Rose

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  20. Go Susie! I am an avid breastfeeder and think you are doing the best thing for you and your baby!

    I have never posted a comment on your page, but read it everyday. That post from anonymous really got me!

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  21. Suzie - I really like you!!! :)

    I've been reading your blog ever since Joshua was born. I'm a babyfit mom. I can't think of anything else that hasn't already been said, but know you have thoughts coming from west Michigan your way. Take care of those babies!

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  22. Ahhh, the price we pay for being so open, sharing, and generous with our lives. :(

    I'm so sorry you've gotten a rotten apple in the peck. Only sad, sad person could write such a thing to you. I'll be sending up a prayer for her along with mine for Joshua and your family. She may even need it more.

    Hugs,
    becca

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  23. i saw that :(
    that really annoys me, like who are people to say that? plus, the benefits of breastmilk are so important to any baby, and especially, i'm sure, for lil j. I've always felt like formula pushers need to take a backseat sometimes. God/Nature blessed you with the ability to feed your child, you go on and do it baby.

    People are mean to me so much on my LJ, So I thought I'd leave some love in response to this ignorance.

    <3Mary

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  24. Boo Hiss - Bad Blogger!!! Ignore the people who criticize you.
    You know Susie, even if he get 3 drops from you and the rest from the bottle, he NEEDS to nuzzle his mommy. Glad you stood up for yourself. Good for you. God Bless all of you. Jan from Texas

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  25. WOW. What do you expect with a public blog? Get over it!

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  26. You said it, Susie! I'm offended for you! Breast milk is THE perfect nutrition for Joshua!
    I know you're pushing for him to get over the 7lb mark, and I'm praying with you that he does, but Susie, whether he does or not, you have definitely done your best to get him there.

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  27. We have never met, but I found your blog through another blog. I am just SO touched by your story and this precious little boy of yours! Of course, your daughter is a cutie as well. I will keep you in my prayers as you walk this journey. I enjoy seeing your updates. You are a great mom, I can tell. Take rest in that!

    Michelle
    Texas

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  28. OMG! Don't worry about ignorant people like that! Ugh!!!
    You are doing a WONDERFUL job with Joshua! And I'm sure you know this!

    To the person who left the comment, breastmilk is the BEST possible food any baby can get. It is wonderful for Joshua!

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  29. LMAO...oh I am so happy you did this!!!! When I read that post I wanted to kick this person.

    Clearly this person is a)a man who knows nothing about the female body and infant nutrition or b)a woman who couldn't be "bothered" with breastfeeding her own children.

    Breast milk is a perfect food, your body will make the perfect amount for your baby's needs. Clearly this person needs more education before they open their big fat mouth and comment!

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  30. Well I'm not a parent, but my sister is a parent of 4 and I know that personally, she had enjoyed being able to breastfeed her children - so keep it going! You are Joshua's parent and you alone get to raise him without the judgement of others! Maybe "others" should be concerned with hteir own families. I really enjoy keeping up with his progress and I'm so glad to hear that he is doing well.

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  31. Good for you Susie! Obviously no one understands the situation. I know that you have to be grateful that Joshua is eating and still here on this earth with you.

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  32. ((Hugs)) Susie, you are doing an awesome job under very difficult circumstances. The person who posted that comment obviously doesn't understand the importance that breastfeeding plays in keeping Joshua healthy right now. I think the sling is an excellent idea. Smelling your milk should definitely encourage him to nurse more. And who doesn't love a cuddly baby in a sling. :)
    Praying for you in Canada,
    Kelly

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  33. Good for you, Susie! I'm so tired of anonymous advice givers. You do the best for your son that you know how. Like you said in one of your other posts, even the doctors are agreeing that you know best how to care for him because you've had the most experience.

    Ignore "her" (I'm guessing - women seem the most cruel to each other) and keep loving on and growing that baby =)

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  34. Sheesh, Suzie, sorry that some obviously ignorant person had to run off at the mouth! Probably has her own guilt issues about breastfeeding, as they are usually the most vocal.

    You are doing a great job and that is all that matters. I am sure with your feeding schedule you will get more milk soon! Hope you can get some rest, and don't let ignorant people get to you... stress affects milk supply. LOL.

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  35. I do not know very much about babies, but he is a very small size therfore I would think it is easier to fill his tummy with less. You can't force feed him, he'll just throw it up anyway. You're doing a great job!

    How's the visas going?

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  36. I have to say Halaluah sister! You know best what he needs and what works for him. Keep strong girl you have a whole lotta people praying for your family in the Seattle Washington area!
    Oh my name is Danielle (thisdiva@comcast.net)
    it will probably say anonymous cause I am too impatient to set up and acct.

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  37. I am a first time poster long time follower... Kudos to you for setting that person straight!!! I get so tired of those who don't seem to want to accept that God would not have given women the body to lactate if we were not meant to feed our babies that way. You are doing a great job. Formula a not a bad thing but I am so impressed you are still doing your best to give your sweet baby as much of your milk as you can.
    That was a great response!!!
    You have such a beautiful family!! I can tell you struggle with all the 'mommy' fears & yet you still manage to do it gracefully & lovingly.
    God Bless & my prayers will stay with you all.

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  38. Hi sweetie! Glad you had a nice weekend and that Joshua is doing so well. I would hope that the poster of this comment meant well and did not mean to upset you. I can see how it comes off as harsh though. I had no idea that he was only taking 1oz at a time. I read everything you post but I don't remember reading that. I am glad you are being so vigilent and taking so much time to increase his consumption. I know it must be tiring to spend so much time feeding him. However, I also know you are blessed with the opportunity to have this time with him and it makes each feeding that much more special. Take care and keep the posts coming! I love hearing about Joshua. When do we get more pictures (LOL).

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  39. You're an awesome mom, Susie. I was linked to your site through another blog I visit. Your kiddos are so lucky to have such a great, devoted mom!!!

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  40. Oh my goodness what an awful thing for somebody to say to you! Some people just don't have a clue. But don't let it get to you! *HUGS*

    Glad to hear you guys are home safely and that Joshua is doing well.

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  41. Gosh,
    Maybe they didn't mean it that way. You can't always tell with sentences typed out. Give them a chance to explain before you bite their head off.

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  42. Ahh, can't believe the gall of people. You are so obviously doing a great job and have showed sounds judgment in everything so far, as I am sure you will in the future. Shake off the silly assvice, they are talking rot!

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  43. I have been following your blog for a while, what a wonderful family you have. Our son was born missing a few bones and under went 2 hand surgeries and above knee amputation at 11 months.
    Why people feel the need to comment on how you are feeding your child or how much is beyond me. You know what your baby needs and as far as i am concerned you are doing a fabulous job. This person had no right to comment. No one can say anything until they have walked a day in your shoes.
    We are praying and sending positive thoughts to you and your family all the way from Seattle.
    God Bless

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  44. it has always amazed me as i've been on blogs written by people going through extraordinary circumstances, how many people take the time to write in with their critical opinion.

    your response was priceless! i love the part of you saying that she/he would never get away with saying that to a mama in real life. that was awesome.

    i've been lurking for weeks now- praying for you and your family- and i love that you share beautiful Joshua with us.

    :)
    -heather

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  45. I have been reading your blog for awhile as it is connected to others. I am so sorry you have to deal with this kind of discouragement on top of "real worries" of caring for your precious gift from the Lord. I honestly believe people just sit around and leave nasty comments on blogs to stir up anger. Girl, you are doing better than any of us at the situation God has given you. keep on keeping on and ignore "anonymous' cowardly comments"!! You are a Godly example to other mothes!
    Codi Strong

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  46. Susie, I think you are doing an amazing job and as I read that second last post about the sling I was thinking "mommy always knows best"
    there will always be those negative people that think they could do a better job but they aren't in that situation!!
    Keep up the wonderful job you are doing, you are my hero and I watch your blog at least everyday!
    Brenda (goddessbaby4 from babyfit)

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  47. I'm sorry that jerk made you feel bad! I know you're doing the best you can and sometimes the peanut gallery should just be eaten instead of paid attention to.

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  48. Susie-
    I'm sorry someone felt the need to give you unsolicited advice.
    I think you are doing awesome.
    Your family is just darling.
    Tanya

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  49. Hello Susie I dont really know how I "arrived" here but I was silent reading your blog for quite some time and I ADMIRE YOU SO MUCH, you´re a great mother and it´s not easy to have a little girl breatfeed, take care with the house etc.. As you said it´s your baby and you have all the rights to worry All good mothers worry about their babies and you know more than anyone about your miracle baby boy, please dont let those coward comments botters you, you know better than any person what to do, I´m sorry if I´m putting my nose on it but as I said I had to do it because youre brave. Sorry also my bad english :(Congratulations being such a good mother and sharing your miracle baby with us, have a blessed day
    With love, Lu

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  50. Obviously your anonymous commenter isn't quite grasping that it's a miracle that he's eating at all and that 8-9 ounces is quite a feat for him!

    You're doing an awesome job. I check your blog every day and love hearing how things are going. Thanks for letting us all watch!

    Alice

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  51. Oh sweetie, you are doing an AMAZING job with Joshua! Don't let ignorant comments get you down. He is very blessed you have you as his mama. I'm sure he'll start gaining weight in no time!

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  52. I have been following your story for a while and am awed by your strength and willingness th share this journey with so many. I hope you will not let an uniformed commenter deter you from posting. It is clear to anyone who has followed your story that you care greatly for your son and have done everything possible to keep him healthy and strong. It is because of you and your family that this beautiful baby is thriving. Please listen instead to those who share in your joy of this beautiful boy and are in amazement of his journey, against what everyone thought.

    Know that prayers are coming from near and far for your family.

    Cindy, mom to four in Connecticut, USA

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  53. Goodness, you are doing the best that you can for your precious son, Susie! I don't think there is a person here who can even doubt what you are doing. Stay strong! I think of you all often and keep you in my prayers. I look forward to your updates all the time. Please take care!

    Laurie in Minnesota

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  54. For a baby like Joshua, the best thing you can do is breastfeed him. It'll boost his immunity, not like the artificial milk can. No Susie. Don't listen to that anon poster. You are doing an *awesome* job by continuing to breastfeed him. He is getting the best possible nutrition from you. Have his docs said anything about his weight gain, or lack thereof? He's obviously thriving, in spite of his other medical problems. Millions of hugs to you honey. Keep up the good work.

    Denise

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  55. hahahahaha!
    (I don't comment often... but for this I had too!)
    hahahahaha.... I nearly fell off the excersize ball I use as a chair when I read this!
    Good for you :)

    I think it's fantastic that you're doing a bit of both! The breast milk is the best of the best, but hey! If he'll take formula also (meaning that he's getting more food into him without too much stress on you) that's awesome!

    Since Joshua seems to have decided to hang out for some time, has the Dr. ever said anything about tube feedings or g-tubes? (I don't know much about them, I'll be the first to admit) and if that would help to cut down the time you're spending feeding?... though I'd love to be cuddling that baby for 9 hours a day!!! Wish I lived close enough to help!

    still praying in Canada.

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  56. Keep up the good work with your family!! I am so proud of your dedication to give Joshua breast milk.

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  57. I love breastfeeding my baby. Bravo to you for working so hard to make it happen! People can be so insensitive. I'm sure he'd eat more if he could.

    I realize my opinion doesn't count for too much, hehe, but after only reading some of your blog, I am just cheering for you guys. My baby is four months old, and I'm looking at him with new eyes after hearing about little Joshua. Hang in there!

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  58. Susie, It is evidenced in Joshua's ability to thrive thus far that you have done a great job mothering your baby. Please don't doubt that, regardless of an ill willed comment. I visit your blog because I sincerely care about the well being of you and that precious boy. I just want you to know that I love your blog, and I am a true fan of you & Joshua. As we all know, some people lack the capability to wrap their heart around what you are going through, and there's usually a few of this type in any given crowd. Please stay confident that you are doing the absolute best for Joshua. Period. And those like myself, who visit you for the right reasons, will continue to follow your story with sincere support for you.

    Jennifer
    Ft. Myers, FL

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  59. You go girl! You are my hero in the comment area of life... I think it but can't ever get the words to come out of my mouth. I'm a scaredy cat :)

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  60. Thoughts from another lurker:

    Comments like that one from "Anonymous" is why God gave Joshua to YOU--He only wants the best for His little ones.

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  61. I think Anon's comment was very rude and obnoxious, and I would defend you until I'm blue in the face, and I think you are doing a WONDERFUL job. But I'm a little disturbed by other comments on here condemning formula, saying things about antifreeze and petrol products in formula. I was one of those mothers who had a ton of challenges breastfeeding which I won't list, but they were too much to overcome, and in the end, I had to go to formula despite my best efforts and I now have an extremely healthy 18-month-old who did very well on formula. So, as far as what you're doing for Joshua? I agree with everyone else and support you 110% (and I'm praying for you guys and read your updates as often as I can and tell others to pray for you too). No one should question your feeding your baby. But I wish people would stop short of bashing formula and formula users (not saying you are, so this is not directed in any way to you), because, for those of us who couldn't breastfeed for one reason or another (or multiple reasons in my case), formula is a blessing and I thank God for it. I'm not a "formula pusher", I'm a "what's-best-for-both-mom-and-baby pusher". :)

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