Oh how I wish for trucks, trains, dirt, and noise.
Joshua, it's your 4th birthday today.
You would have been fully of energy, loud, rough and tumble. Everything your cousin Evan is. Evan will be four in just 6 weeks. Every time I look at him, I realize what we lost. I miss you every time I hold him in my arms. Evan is loud. He wants to wrestle. He wants to jump off everything, and hit most everything with a stick. But he has a beautiful soft side that comes out when he's tired and missing his mommy. Almost every week when he's here at our house, he sheds a few tears at bedtime because he wants Mommy.
Joshua, I want you; I want you like Evan wants Mommy.
Last night we read Heaven Is For Real, the kid's version. It was your birthday present from your Auntie Christina & Uncle Bryce. Oceana, Naomi, and Evan sat with me in the girls' room and we read about your new home. A place where the angel Gabriel is as tall as a giant and he has a big, flaming sword. We read about how people in Heaven know their family when they get there. I thought about your two siblings, I think they were brothers, who joined you there with Jesus last year. I'm glad you three are together. We read about the animals in Heaven, andabout how much God loves children. We're glad you are well.
But we miss you sweetie. We miss you every day. Our family will always have a missing piece. Even though there's a new little baby coming to join our family this year, she won't replace you. There will always be a space for a fun-loving little boy right between Oceana and Naomi. A place that you will always belong, but never be physically.
We miss you and we love you.
Watch for your blue balloons today... Nana, Baboo, Uncle Drew, and Auntie Cate sent you one yesterday. There are more coming this afternoon.