Monday, February 23, 2009

"I'll Do It My Way, Thanks" - Birth Control

Allow me to premise my very first "I'll Do It My Way, Thanks" post with this statement:

It is not my intention to start an argument with anyone. My intention is not to start an argument in my comments. I will allow general discussion and disagreement. But if it gets out of hand, I will disable comments, and I will delete comments that are attacking and forceful. This goes for either side of the issue. Whether you agree or disagree, please feel free to discuss, but not attack. I'm not about attack here. I think you'll see that reflected in my writing. It's my way of doing things - my choices. I'm simply sharing the why's behind my choices.


It may not surprise you to hear that I have never used any form of hormonal birth control. Some of you may attribute my three children in three years to this fact. And to some extent, you are correct. I have used [and failed to use] various non-chemical birth control methods, which resulted in my first two pregnancies. My third pregnancy - little FlipFlop - was a little different. Let's just say, I made a choice when I knew I was walking on fertile ground.

When I got married I understood a little about birth control and the cycles of female menses. I believed this knowledge would provide all the necessities for avoiding pregnancy until Matt and I deemed ourselves "ready" [whatever that means!]. It is now very apparent to me that I did not understand completely, or even slightly, what I had gotten myself into.

Exhibit A: Oceana Faith.

While breastfeeding Oceana, I took my previous knowledge and trusted the fact that I was nursing. I also failed to follow through on birth control - as I believed I was "safe" based on previous information.

Exhibit B: Joshua Matthew

It was after having Joshua that I realized I needed to take the bull by the horns and figure my reproductive system out before I ended up collapsing into my own - rather worn out - uterus. I was given [many thanks by the way!] a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler (Natural Family Planning and Fertility Awareness Method) and spent the next few weeks perusing the book trying to sort out my fertility. We all know I have it [fertility that is] and I needed to know what exactly was going on!

I had just begun to understand the system when, as I stated above, I made a choice when I knew I was walking fertile ground. The resulting exhibit made me realize I did in fact have the system figured out, if not my resolve to follow the system and it's principles.

Exhibit C: FlipFlop


And this leads me to the question, "Why won't you just use the pill?"

Not only will I not use the pill, I will not use rings, shots, patches, IUDs, or anything else that releases artificial hormones throughout the body. It does not matter what hormones are released either. I will not use them.

The reason is quite simple. There is no form of the hormonal birth control that I believe is ethical. I have done my research. I have followed through on every option presented to me. Believe me - I wish I could use birth control pills, shots, rings, IUDs, etc - they are more reliable than a lot of options. However, the artifical hormones that are released by these variety of birth control methods can and do cause early miscarriages.

Hormonal birth control works in three ways:

1. It will try to prevent an egg from ever releasing,
2. It will cause cervical mucous to be "less than favorable" for fertility making it difficult for sperm to ever reach the egg, and
3. It will result in a inhospitable uterine environment.

Number one is perfectly acceptable in my book. If this was the only one, I'd be happy. I'd be popping those little pills with a cheeky grin on my face.

Number two is fine too. I'd still take them is this was the case.

However, number three works this way: The uterine lining where an already fertilized egg needs to implant to begin growing becomes "unfavorable" or "harsh". This means that the egg's already a little clump of baby bubbles (the future Amy or Jake) and now it can't find a suitable place to anchor for the remainder of pregnancy. This results in a fertilized egg dying and resulting in a very early miscarriage (but it will most likely look just like a regular period).

I must also add that I believe life begins when the egg and sperm meet - not when the fertilized egg implants in the uterine wall. Life has already begun when cells begin to split. From that first moment of fertilization, there is a little person there.

Because I believe life to be sacred and deserving of all respect, I cannot knowingly endanger my children. I would rather have 20 children, than know in my heart I was the perpetrator to their demise. I will not use hormonal birth control for these reasons.

For further information follow these links.

A Condensation of Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? by Randy Alcorn

How Does the Birth Control Pill Work? by Tracee Cornforth at

The Pill: How Does It Work? Is It Safe? by Paul Weckenbrock at


  1. When I started reading this post I was all set to be pretty mad about it. I'm a student midwife & I sometimes see women who are exhausted from the numerous pregnancies they have endured (yes, endured) because their partner of choice believes almost all contraception 'could' cause a miscarriage. I could strangle those men Susie.

    But. Your post was very well written, articulate, honest & from the heart. I don't agree with you, not even one little bit, but I really think you just wrote a very honest post, so thank you.

  2. Hi Susie,

    I LOVE the idea of I'll do it my way, thanks! And thank YOU for being open about your opinions. I completely understand your view on the pill, though not sure if I completely agree (that's ok!). I was wondering if you know anything about this question...once someone goes off the pill, are there any lasting harmful side effects? Or could you say, for example...the uterine environment is no longer inhospitable? Just curious. Great post!!

  3. I've never used birth control while married because I tried it once and made me a horrible, angry, moody, fat mess. Then, I too, learned about my body and was able to effectively not get pregnant for 3 years until we decided to. It doesn't take much to learn your body and once you do, it's easy. Also, sometimes God's will is not our own, so who are we to say no when he gives us these precious gifts? I know not everyone feels that way but, oh well. PLUS NFP is free, can't beat that over paying mega bucks for shots, pills, etc.

  4. I used hormonal birth control long ago when I was first married. Mainly, because I didn't know any better. I don't feel like these things are adequately explained to people. I am now trying to figure out my cycles (which have always been irregular). Thank you for putting htis out there. I hope the discussion can be civil!

  5. In my opinion life begins when the fertilized eggs implants in the uterus. So I respectfully disagree with that. However, I still consider myself to be pro-life and also do not use birth control for possible health problems.
    Here is a link to an article found on Dr. Mercola's(all natural doctor) website.
    I hope to use natural family planning after I have my second baby in August. I may even look into getting a copy of that book you posted about.

    BTW-I love what you doing on your blog. Its your blog and should express your opinions and beliefs. You happen to be very influential to me. I strive to have strong faith as you do and trust in the Lord despite how hard life gets. You and your family are an inspiration to me. Thanks!

  6. Thankyou for typing what you did..the pill is horrible. WE have the same LIFE believe too! Keep on GIRL!!!!

  7. Hey Susie,

    I'm in agreement with you and the same boat. I'm expecting my third now, and yes, within 3 years.

    We use NFP, but like you, didn't really have a grasp on it, which resulted in our honeymoon baby. Then I was breastfeeding and my cycles were harder to understand, which resulted in son #2 only 15 months apart from the first.
    With #3, we knew it was very possible I was fertile when we conceived this one, due in October.

    We get a lot of criticism too- which I don't understand... we're happy, the kids are happy, so what's up with that?- but we have strong convictions about hormonal birth control and will not go there. And even barriers, to some extent, as we question "do we really want a 'barrier' between us in such a sacred act?"

    Now, I do have a question for you. What are your thoughts on Vasectomies? Do you view them as unethical?

    With us having 3 under 3 (yes, our oldest will be 2 for a couple of weeks when #3 comes around), we are considering it. We don't like it as an option, but feel like we almost need to. We have a strong desire to adopt and we feel like DH getting the big v will force us into following through, if you know what I mean?

    Anyway, sorry this is so long. This is a topic we feel strongly about also and I'm happy to read about it on here :)

  8. Love, love, love Toni Weschler's book! I used the pill in 1990 for 5 months (did not know the truth about it) but the remaining 18+ years of my marriage have been hormone free. Mainly for the reasons you mentioned, but also because I don't think it's healthy to manipulate your bodies natural hormonal cycle for years on end.

  9. DO you use condoms or just things like the rythm method. I used Depro Prevera (shot) after my first child. I gained 50 pounds i have yet to lose and felt really bad for months until it got out of my system.
    Good luck with whatever works for you and congrats on flip flop:) cant wait to see her. I have 2 girls myself and love it.
    South Carolina

  10. I've been reading your blog since before your precious Joshua...just want to say...go get 'em girl! I love your spirit, your love for Jesus and your love for your family. Looking forward to reading about each and every little blessing the Lord bestows upon you!

  11. Susie--Thanks so much for sharing this info. My hubby and I have the same thoughts on hormonal birth control but we feel stuck at the moment as we are pursuing adoption (we have 2 bio kiddos and feel the Lord is leading us to grow our family through adoption this time around). With adoption we're not "permitted" to get pregnant or else we'd be considered ineligible. So we feel stuck because we, too, have a good track record in our ability to get pregnant without really I guess my question is, has anyone had success with the natural family planning/charting method? Does it make you feel really limited, like you have to be super strict/not be spontaneous...if you know what I mean? ;)
    Thanks again for the post Susie--I appreciate your honesty!
    Prayers, Tamara in MN

  12. Thank you for your I'll do it my way, Thanks!!! I loved it.
    I love that you are willing to share with us.
    You have beautiful children. I am anxious to (meet) see the little Flip Flop when she arrives. I enjoy your blog. Thank you for sharing with us.
    Have a Wonderful Day!!

  13. That's the exact reason why I won't use birth control. SO many people do not know about the third one you listed. YES birth control does cause the lining to be weak where a fertilized egg can't attach, then that baby just dies. It's sad and more women need to know. Thank you for posting so the word gets out!

  14. Would you mind sharing what you do use for family planning? Is it natural family planning, one or more barrier methods, or a combination? I don't use hormonal birth control either, partly due to ethics and partly because I want nothing to do with the potential side effects of using them. What we are currently using is working fine for now, I am just curious what other people who don't use hormonal birth control use.

  15. As a former user of BC pills and a former IUD-haver, I am very interested in your info about the unhospitable environment thing. We've used other methods, aside from those listed above, but the most effective is charting/natural family planning IMO. Thanks for being open and honest! Can't wait for more of these!

  16. thanks susie for the resorces... this was really good! I am in the same position as you, as long as I am fertile I will never take another "pill" again due to my own experience earlier in marrage, but then again I can't see myself having a baby every 18 months either. This is something I really need to research after #3 is born. thanks again...

  17. I agree with you 100% on this issue. I've tried the ring and it made me feel horrible (achy joints and muscles) plus, I couldn't live with not knowing what exactly it was doing to prevent pregnancy. You just can't make sure it won't abort a fertilized egg...I just can't live with that.Soooo we are back to charting and more 'natural' (non-chemical) means of preventing pregnancy. Thus, the reason I got pregnant with number 4. ;-) Hey, I'm just happy we've been able to space them 2 to 2 1/2 years apart! Someday we will get something permanant done though...we feel that is okay (doesn't involve any chemicals).

  18. Melissa Ward - Wife to 1, Mom to 4February 24, 2009 at 9:44 AM

    Yay! I am SO looking forward to the rest of this series. I'm glad you finally decided to speak your mind on some of these issues that you've hinted at before.

    Like you, we also will not use any hormonal birth control methods for the same reasons you listed. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until midway through my first pregnancy. I had been on the pill when we first got married, because "that's what you do when you get married". It still saddens me to think about who we might have lost because of our ignorance. So we make sure now to recommend to any couples headed toward marriage that they really do their research to understand how these things work. I don't ever want anyone else to do in ignorance what we did. If they do it anyway, knowing what it does, they will stand before God to give their account, but at least I didn't hide the information.

    So I commend you for speaking out on this issue. I pray your message reaches just the right people through this blog.

  19. Just wanted to say I love the line "baby bubbles"
    haha! Good post!

  20. i am so glad you wrote on this topic. I agree with you 100% and although at this time I'm not married and have no need to prevent pregnancy, I will in the future and it is SO good to know that there are others out there who are informed about this. Thanks for writing this as I'm sure a lot of people really just don't know and you have written this in a very non-threatening way that i'm sure will impact your readers.

  21. "I must also add that I believe life begins when the egg and sperm meet - not when the fertilized egg implants in the uterine wall. Life has already begun when cells begin to split. From that first moment of fertilization, there is a little person there."

    I'm w/ you 100% on that one. And as far as BC goes? Someone will always have something to say about it but ultimately it is up to you & Matt. Oh & my parents only used bc Before they started to have children; Not after. 5 daughters - spaced 3yrs, 3yrs, 3yrs, 2yrs & 5 yrs. Me? Mine are spaced 5 yrs apart due to an iud after the horror surrounding my son's birth. Now my Hubby's had a vasectomy. Safer all the way around!

  22. Delurking:
    I love this post. You have written everything that I believe, as well. I too practice Natural Family Planning (NFP)and actively promote it. I believe there is a lot of misconceptions about NFP, mostly that it is the Rythmn Method, however it is not. Its Basil Body Temp and Billings Method, which is more accurate (or perhaps less stressful for the irregular girl) than Rythmn.

    I would love for there to be open dialogue about NFP so that all women have a choice. Not only is it as effection in preventing pregnancy as the Pill, but better yet it helps a woman to truly understand her body is telling her in the innerward and outward physical signs. While I practice NFP for my religious beliefs, I believe its important that NFP not be labeled as "religious", It simply should be understood for what it trully is, NATURAL Family Planning.

    I have rambeled on for too long. sorry about that.
    Thank you so much for posting this!

  23. Hello!! I don't comment very often, but I do have a (probably stupid) question. There are 2 types of the IUD (that I know of) the Mirena, and the Paraguard. I have been told the Paraguard does not contain any hormones. Is that something you would consider and option??

  24. I believe the same way you do. Unfortunately, I didn't know all the facts when I was younger, but now I do.

  25. I think this is a great topic for discussion! The other thing about The Pill that concerns me is the fact that it messes with the natural hormone levels in our bodies. My mom has breast cancer, and the first question she was asked at EVERY new doctor or professional she had to see (family doctor, oncologist,pharmacist, etc) was did she take hormone replacement therapy during menopause and if she had ever taken The Pill. I don't know why we can think that taking manufactured hormones long term into our bodies is going to be 100% safe.

    Just my two cents, from a mom of four..and we used natural family planning....which despite what is taught, is not nearly 100% effective.... :) But looking back at our surprises, we can see exactly when God knew it was the right time for another child in our family. I wouldn't change a thing.

  26. you could not have put it better! I just happened upon your blog and saw your post on not using birth control. It's so hard to explain to people why I will not take the pill or other means of birth control and I just wanted to drop a note to say thanks for putting it so well! I am 7 weeks along with baby #4 and baby #3 was 5 months old when I found out! Little stinker sucks his thumb and returned my cycle all too quickly! I would much rather keep having these little blessings one after the other then use B.C. pills! yes, I am sick of being pregnant and yes the kids are alot of work every day, but it's worth it! How many women would kill to be in our position?!? to have just one baby?!? when we made the #4 announcement, most responses were "again?!? jeez... how many you planning on having???" we are so lucky! blessing to you and your family ~

  27. I'm hearing you. I agree with everything you said.

    But my husband and I made a different choice. You see, we don't WANT children. This makes everything much, much harder. It's hard to know what to do when you know you don't want children. Ever.

    I still struggle with our choice. We may make different decisions about birth control when the current "choice's" time is up. But for now...

    Thanks for your post. I'm interested in seeing the discussion.

  28. Susie...I wish I had known this years ago...when C and I got married...we had no idea..all we heard was everyone in our ears telling us this was the RIGHT choice...
    It frustrates me, because after realizing I had a sensitivity to BC pills, I also began to have nasty thyroid symptoms to boot....which could have ALL been prevented had I not used them myself...

    **not saying that no one should use them*** I just wish in our case...that we HAD this type of information...and that we could have made a better more informed decision based upon the info would have saved heartache, and we may have actually been able to have a good pregnancy by now...

  29. excellent. i might print this out and take it to my ob. I tried the pill once and the side effects were just awful for me. And if there is one thing I think one should not mess with its their hormonal well being, my mental state is sometimes debatable enough. So we practiced, very effectively natural bc. I paid attention to the days and what not.

    Well wouldnt you know we did have a little slipup after a 2 year prefect track record. We knew the risks and felt that any child blessed to us at any time was a blessing, we could handle it. My ob kept refering to us as having "unprotected sex" or being irresponsible. I thought my head would explode. It ended in an early miscarriage and I still didnt see any reason to go on a pill. We ended up getting pregnant right after the miscarriage (I spoke with other drs who said given my circumstances it was a ok) and when I went back to the ob she again talked about unprotected sex. I am married, I love my husband, we take good care of our kids on our own with our money, what buisness is it of theirs.

    Sorry for the long comment but your post hit a cord with me. (ps since your about to pop heads up I'm having a great giveaway for babies on my blog)

  30. Call me ignornant, but I confess that I do not understand the meaning behind "flipflop."

  31. Thank you, Susie, for bringing up this often taboo subject. I've recently learned of the "miscarriages" that chemical birth control can cause, and I'm grieved. I haven't yet asked my Christian OB-GYN about his stance on the subject. I no longer need chemical birth control, and I'm grateful that I don't have to find something that works appropriately. I hurt for women who've been misled, deliberately or ignorantly. I will be praying about this and for women contemplating quitting OR starting on chemical birth control.

  32. Susie - well said! I am on exhibit C myself and the only choice I see for sucessful birth control is something more permanent. I have discussed the procedure for my husband, but he is not warm the on idea, but I am also considering a tubal ligation.

    You third way birth control works hits home. I wish more people would be informed.


  33. In a lot of ways I agree with what you are saying. I believe it was being on the pill for years and years that left me with ovaries that didn't work when I wanted them too and a host of hormonal issues that I had to deal with when I got married and wanted to start a family. BUT I also think that in the age of so much teenage pregnancy and so little parental involvement that the less expensive choice, ie. the pill, is an ok choice although I wish it was just not having sex.
    Having said that I wish that more women would take charge of their fertility health. I did. I, like you, will not use hormonal birth control. I am in the middle of my 6th planned pregnancy but sadly I have only 2 children, this will be my third and I will always wonder why I lost my babies since all chromosomal testing came back normal and it was early 2nd trimester. Because of these losses I am going to have my tubes tied after I deliver this baby. I feel this is the best option for my family and going through another pregnancy would be much too hard on my body and my family.
    I really like these posts and look forward to reading more! Hello from Denver CO!

  34. I think it's great how you explained your position (and even prompted several laughs). It's always good to know WHY you believe in what you believe in.

    I have used birth control in the past, but my husband and I decided that after our last baby was born that one of us needed to get "fixed". People may or may not agree with our decision, but it works for us.

    Good for you for your decisions, and thanks for sharing your viewpoint!

  35. Thank you, Susie. This was a very informative and understandable post. You presented your information in a very positive manner that is not offensive.

    I believe women should be more informed before they make decisions involving birth control. Education, education, education.


  36. Hi Susie--

    I'm always reading but rarely comment. I agree with all of your reasons, and I know most pills work in those three ways you mentioned.

    My question is: have you ever come across ANY research of ANY pill that works in the way of forms 1 and 2 only? Are there any that do not perpetuate an inhospitable uterine environment?

    I appreciate your post--it was well put together and very clearly stated. I'm looking forward to more of these types of discussions here!

  37. Hey Suzie
    you not alone.I choose not to use birth control pills when i was 14 years old. i read the tiny side effects onthe magazine add and thought no way am i going to eat that everyday. and at 33 still havent. and i have 2 kids aged 6 and 1 not by choice we wanted them closser together but i had 3 losses inbetween.second one at 12 weeks a boy was the hardest. i some times wonder if i had used bc if I would have my 2 alive. i am trying now for number 3 but my yougest is 18 mths and still nursing strong. so i started taking vitex.. sorry for my novel. i have been reading your blog now for about a year. from melanie in canada

  38. interesting. I also won't use hormonal birth control because everyone's lives would be in danger (I get really wacky on BC.)

    What do you think about condoms/diaphram/sponge? Those got me through 14 years before I decided to have children.

    Would you get your tubes tied or Matt get a vascectomy if you felt your body was done having children?

  39. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this. I hope that young women who know they want to have babies, but 'not yet' will see this and really take it to heart.

    For about 3 1/2 years when we were first married, I used Depo-Provera for birth control. I was told that it did not prevent a fertilized egg from implanting, because it stops your period & prevents eggs from being released altogether.

    When I came off of the shots, I felt like my 'old self' again- I describe it as coming out of an 'emotional fog', and I vowed to NEVER go back on hormones again. Also, my OB told me that young ladies need to understand that any hormones you take can negatively affect your future fertility...and the longer you take them, the worse it is for you. I had to wait about 4-5 months for my cycle to even come back, and it was over a year before I was able to get pregnant.

    Again, thanks for sharing this- I really appreciate your honesty. :)

  40. Found your blog hopping around today, I for one agree with every word. Besides possibly ending life, there are all kinds of other problems with hormonal birth control which should cause us to all ask some serious questions about it. I too read and felt very enlightened and informed after reading Toni Wechsler's book. Besides feeling empowered and aware, it brought beauty to the act of marriage that was selfless and beyond words for us.

    I always find it so interesting when people want to give God rights to every part of their life except for (usually) two: money and babies. Those two are pretty tough to hand over but He is so able to work ALL things for good.

    We visited New Zealand (6 years ago) and it was the most exquisite place we have ever been. Spectacular.

    Blessings on your sweet family and I hope everything goes well with your upcoming delivery.


  41. I applaud you. That's a big part of why I don't/won't take hormonal (or non-hormonal IUD) birth control - the other reason being what those hormones do to a human (the woman taking them). No thanks!

    I do know that, even following TCOYF to a T, you can become pregnant if that's God's will. I know because it happened to us - and it was also His will to call that baby home shortly after conception. So be it - we cherished that baby for the week-ish we knew him/her. But I have full comfort in knowing that it wasn't due to some artificial hormone in my body that an early miscarriage occurred... and that's something that I feel I'll be able to comfortably stand before my Creator about someday.

  42. I see where you're coming from. Here I am to play devil's advocate: If "Natural family planning" is your choice, isn't that its own form of BC? It's preventing what could or could not be a baby. Prevention is prevention.

    I have my own personal view which will remain personal ;-) aw where's the fun in that? But that's my question and I want opinions. I always ask the "gray area" questions.

    Thanks for bringing this up Susie, it's definitely a subject worth talking about!

  43. Susie - I like your opinions :) I have 7 years of higher education, 3 children (one about to graduate high school) and consider myself "in the know" but I can honestly tell you I have never thought about your #3 for not using the pill. I have never looked at it this way, though I am pro life. Thank you for your perspective and best wishes with Exhibit C!

  44. I think birth control is actually kind of funny. It just gives us a sense of control. When the truth is you'll get pregnant when God wants you to. No form of birth contol is going to keep you from getting pregnant and staying pregnant if it is meant at that time for you to have a baby. Women get their tubes tide and still get pregnant.

  45. I'm with ya. It's a total shame that women aren't taught more about their cycles than the basics. I had absolutely no clue until just a few years ago!

  46. Susie - Great post! After three kids, my husband took care of our birth control needs which was wonderful of him. We're quite a bit older than you and Matt. But, I wish I knew as much about family planning when I was your age as you do. Hind sight is 20 - 20. I hope you touch the lives of women still trying to figure this out! Kara

  47. I whole-heartedly agree with you, Susie! Thanks for putting the facts out there. I quit taking the pills years ago (after taking them for a year and a half) because I was convicted over the very things you have stated.

  48. I used BCP for 9 years in my youth before coming to the realization on reason #3 of why I would get my period. I was shocked and amazed and honestly mortified. Additionally I had horrible side effects in the form of migraines and High Blood pressure that resulted in me going off the pill. I have been pill free for 9 years now. I too use the FAM (Fertility Awarness Method) described in Toni Weschler's book. In the past 9 years I have only have planned pregnancies and have effectively avoided pregnancy when the timing was not "right". We used barrier method during those cycles we wanted to avoid pregnancy at least during the week of my "Fertile groud"! I have 3 children and recently discovered that I am pregnant with # 4. I concieved #4 using FAM.
    We are due in October! (Yay!!!)

    Your reasoning is sound and I honestly feel the exact same way! There are some people in my real life that do not understand my choices, but I calmly say.... I'll do it my way, thanks!

  49. bravo. very well said, with lots of facts. i think you did a GREAT job and i really enjoyed reading, cant wait for another!!! :)

  50. Susie, I love your blog and have been following since before Joshua was born. I even love this post...even though I totally disagree with it.

    I too loved TCOYF, I used it to get pg, learn about my body, etc. I too wish we all learned more about our cycles, etc.

    Question though- you work a lot with single, pregnant, teenage girls. In a perfect world I would assume it would be your preference to teach more about abstinece than birth control, but let's face it, that's not reality. So what type of responsibility is there to teach not only about our bodies and where babies come from, but also about the different choices out there in birth control?

    I really enjoyed seeing everyone's thoughts on this subject and learning something new from your articles. Even if I don't agree...


  51. I totally understand your point of view but can I ask you and everyone that's commented saying they also don't use the pill what is wrong with condoms?

  52. Thanks for writing so well about this topic, Susie. We did not use birth control when we got married simply because of the hormones, and got pregnant with baby #1 on our wedding night. While pregnant with baby #2 I learned about the third mechanism of hormonal BC and we knew that we would never use it. We've had 4 kids in 5 years and are probably going to take a permanent step to stop. We never legitimately tried NFP, but I may check out this book to recommend to others. Thanks again for this post.

  53. I love your heart, Susie. And I love how passionate you are about the things that are important to you.

    This was an excellent blog post - articulate, well thought out, and educational. And your sweet way of conveying your opinion was just awesome.

    I used birth control early in our marriage because I didn't know any better. But God changed our hearts and view on having babies. I educated myself and off we went. Three babies later we are happy as happy can be.

    I think that the best and most effective form of birth control is education. I plan on teaching my girls, in their teen years, how a woman's body works reproductively. And not because I am worried that they may go and have sex so young but because it is really important for them to know how their body works - to become familiar with their individual cycle. I so wish that my mom had taught me when I was young. There should be no shame or embarrassment about this subject! God made our bodies this way!

    Anyways... love you, girl!


  54. We did use 'NFP' but our reasons seem to be different to most - we were not trying to avoid pregnancy at the time, we were desperately trying to get pregnant with baby #2 I am wondering what your feelings are on using medical (hormonal) options to become pregnant? We were offered this 'simple' solution, but to be honest, I was terrified of the possibility of multiples and the increased likelihood of delivering very early(twins ok, more than twins - don't know about that!)

    We are now the very blessed parents of three lovely children - got them all the 'old fashioned way' on god's timetable.

  55. Hey Susie,

    My number. Lets see.. I am up to 23 pounds I think and I NEED to slow down. My goal is to NOT hit 30.I know. Fat chance. I don't like what my actual weight is..It is the heaviest I have ever been. Scary. Sometimes I find myself just wanting to have this baby so I can get to losing the weight!!! AHH! So there it is! You look awesome too.

  56. We too use NFP. Through the Couple to Couple league ( although we are not catholic. it is pretty much 100% effective if you follow it to a T. We used it for the first 2 years of our marriage to avoid pregnancy by using condoms during our fertile time if we couldnt abstain the entire time (knowing that using them could still cause us to become pregnant). Well, after 2 years, we decided we were ready for a little one, and we got pregnant the first month!!

    NFP is SO fantastic. it really taught me a lot about my body and i recommend it to EVERYONE. plus, its easy and FREE!!! thanks for a FANTASTIC blog.

  57. "If "Natural family planning" is your choice, isn't that its own form of BC? It's preventing what could or could not be a baby. Prevention is prevention."

    I don't really see this as a grey area at all. What Suzie said is that she feels that life begins *when the sperm meets the egg.* She did not say she opposed birth control, she said she opposes hormonal birth control because one of the ways it works is to make the uterine lining inhospitable.

    When practicing nfp, there is no sperm to meet the egg because you chart and then abstain from having sex when you are fertile. You are not allowing a cluster of cells (which would/could eventually become a baby) to form and then not have a place to grow and flourish.

  58. Great topic for a start on "My Way"! I wish I had found out more about the pill before we used it, but am glad to be off it permanently!

  59. No arguments from me! I completely agree!!

  60. Not sure if this is still open for comments or if you'll read it since I am a couple days behind :) But I am coming out of lerking to say that I have LOVED your blog for well over 6 months and always love what you have to say.
    I was on "Depo" shot for over 6 years due to being young and naive, some bad Doctors, and even worse advice. I was severely anemic so hey put her on Birth Control. Yeah not good. When I got to my Dr who I am with now he took me off it immediately and put me on pills which I didn't want to do but he knew my cycle needed help to "jump start". It took us almost a year, quite a bit of $ and some fertility medicine to finally convince our little Miracle Baby due in April (which oddly enough none of it worked it was when we stopped everything I got Pregnant. Funny how God works right?). All that said I will NEVER EVER go on any form of b/c again because of how bad it can mess up your system and the points you made here. Not sure what we will do after Bean comes but I know I will not be putting anything foreign in my system that could cause another little miracle to not come along! Thanks so much for sharing your heart and blog. I'm praying for you and a healthy little Flipflop :)

  61. Susie,

    I was just wondering if you or anyone else knew about how often this actually happens? From what I understand, an IUD works in this way but I wasn't aware that, say, the pill could work in this way. HELP!

  62. Hi Susie,

    I've been lurking here reading your blog for a long, long time. Sorry... Probably shoulda started commenting about a year ago. I always enjoy reading about your family and what you have to say.

    I'm not currently in the position of needing birth control, but your post has given me something to think about in the event that I do need it. Thanks for writing this!