Q&A Follow up from IDMWT post

Anonymous: I was wondering if you know anything about this question...once someone goes off the pill, are there any lasting harmful side effects? Or could you say, for example...the uterine environment is no longer inhospitable? Just curious.

Dear Anonymous, I do not know the effects on the uterine environment long term or after stopping the pill. My guess would be yes, however I do not have research one way or another. I know you can get pregnant and stay pregnant right away after coming off of birth control - I have a friend who's done this. But unfortunately I'm not aware of the scientific case for this question. I hope you can find answers for yourself.

Jennie: Now, I do have a question for you. What are your thoughts on Vasectomies? Do you view them as unethical?

Dear Jennie. Congratulations on #3! If this is the Jennie I think it is, I'm really excited for you! I don't have an issue with a vasectomy or a tubal ligation either. My reasoning for not using hormonal birth control is simply because of the potential for a miscarriage. I have no issue with "prevention", only with "destruction". I have no ethical issue with a vasectomy. It's incredibly permanent though, so it's definitely a big and very serious decision to be making.

Dear Mum of 2 Girls: Do you use condoms or just things like the rhythm method?

Dear Mum of 2 Girls, well obviously this is a little silly for me to be answering, since I've been pregnant most of my married life. Obviously I'm not following through on something. Condoms, diaphragms, and spermicides have graced my dresser drawer. Natural Family Planning is not Rhythm Method. Rhythm Method - in my opinion - is not reliable. The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a HUGE book and has a plethora of information. It's not simply saying"These are safe days and these are not safe days."

Tamara: Does it make you feel really limited, like you have to be super strict/not be spontaneous...if you know what I mean? ;)

Dear Tamara. I think all I have to say about strict and not being spontaneous is this. Exhibits A, B, and C. Obviously I haven't figured that question out for myself.

Jenn: Would you mind sharing what you do use for family planning? Is it natural family planning, one or more barrier methods, or a combination?

Dear Jenn. Oh my goodness, I have to remember that my grandmother has access to this website. I'm dying over that. But anyways, shame aside... Oceana: failure to use a diaphragm. Joshua: failure to use a condom. Flip Flop: failure to use self control. My face is so red right now, I'm laughing out loud and I can't believe I'm typing this for the wider world to see. In FUTURE I'll be following Natural Family Planning and probably some back up barriers.

The Leezers: There are 2 types of the IUD (that I know of) the Mirena, and the Paraguard. I have been told the Paraguard does not contain any hormones. Is that something you would consider and option?

Dear Leezers: This is straight from the Paraguard website: "Ideas about how ParaGard® works include preventing sperm from reaching the egg and preventing the egg from attaching (implanting) in the uterus. ParaGard® does not alter your body's natural menstrual cycle."

Devin: My question is: have you ever come across ANY research of ANY pill that works in the way of forms 1 and 2 only? Are there any that do not perpetuate an inhospitable uterine environment?

Dear Devin, I have done my research. I have asked midwives and doctors. I have been told that this or that version doesn't cause #3 to happen. But every time I've been told, I go and check out that particular version - and there's always something buried in the "How does this pill/ring/etc work?" and I've never found one that doesn't prevent implantation. I think this is simply because the hormones used in hormonal birth control work the same ways each time.

Rebecca: What do you think about condoms/diaphram/sponge? Those got me through 14 years before I decided to have children. Would you get your tubes tied or Matt get a vascectomy if you felt your body was done having children?

Dear Rebecca, I think barrier methods are a God-send. They are fine in my book, and I use them. [....however ineffectively....] I would consider a surgical preventative measure if Matt and I were sure that God had completed our family.

Kristen: If "Natural family planning" is your choice, isn't that its own form of BC? It's preventing what could or could not be a baby. Prevention is prevention.

Dear Kristen, As I stated in a previous answer, I don't have any issues with prevention. I have every issue with destruction. I don't see any ethical issue with the prevention of pregnancy - the prevention of sperm meeting egg. I will never condone any form of birth control that destroys a fertilised egg.

Anonymous: Question though- you work a lot with single, pregnant, teenage girls. In a perfect world I would assume it would be your preference to teach more about abstinece than birth control, but let's face it, that's not reality. So what type of responsibility is there to teach not only about our bodies and where babies come from, but also about the different choices out there in birth control?

Dear Anonymous, I was afraid to answer this question. I think I am most afraid because I don't have a concrete answer. This bothers me constantly. It's very true that birth control pills are preventing young girls from becoming mothers before their time. However, the pill still works the same way it does in a woman who is ready to be a mother. This is a difficult question for me to address. I think it's important for girls to be taught more about their bodies and their cycles. I find it apalling that the extent of my knowledge regarding my cycle (in high school) was that I ovulated on Day 14 and I get some PMS and then I have a period. I think that's probably about as much knowledge as anyone else has at that stage in life. I full agree with one commenter who said she will be teaching her daughters (as teenagers) about their personal fertility. I think this is a fantastic idea, and I think I'll probably do the same. Unfortunately I don't have much more of an answer than that. And yes, I do think abstinence needs a stronger backing than it has in our current society.

Anonymous: I am wondering what your feelings are on using medical (hormonal) options to become pregnant?

Dear Anonymous, I don't have an answer for you on this. I have friends who have used hormonal options to help them get pregnant. But because it's never been something we've struggled with, it's not something I have ever researched. I don't think I'm the best person to be answering this question. I am a Christian and I'd have to say that my best answer for this would be that I would have to pray about my decisions if we ever had to cross this road.

I think I got everybody's questions. I hope this post is helpful in answering all of your questions.