Saturday, September 27, 2008

Catching up



I will try to answer some questions that were asked, a few that weren't, and generally catch you up on the last 9 weeks of secret-keeping.

How am I feeling about all this? (Elisha)
I'm excited! Now that I can breathe of sigh of relief (heard the heartbeat, saw to ultrasounds, everything looking normal thus far), it's fun. now I can tell people and be excited and chatter on with other moms about labor and baby clothes and which stroller is the best for your money. However, with that comes a bit of weird-mom-guilt. I feel like I shouldn't be excited. Or that people won't be excited for me (I'm obviously wrong about that). Or that people will think its too soon. But I have to just let that go - because honestly about 99% of it is unfounded worry. It's my own insecurities rearing their ugly heads and making me feel stupid. I would rather enjoy this pregnancy, than feel I need to take the "low road" here. I didn't take the low road with Joshua, I enjoyed every moment that I could. I think that was one of the most blessed parts of our time with him. I want to be able to tell this baby that they were anticipated with the same joy and excitement as their brother and sister were - if not more!

I had not intention of picking a "winner" for name that photo. But when I saw this, I had to post it. It's as close as you get to winning around here, as there are no prizes and I have mom-guilt about picking "the best", and leaving out the rest.

'The shadow owes its birth to "light".
This actually a famous quote (although I'd love to take credit for it) by John Gay'

- Melissa

How far along am I?
(A question I'll get asked inumerable times, so I'll just post one of those tickers up after this).
I'm due April 7th, 2009. I think. I had it figured (according to the way Dr's schedule it) for 4/7/09, then at my first scan the tech said something about being +5 days, so I figured 4/2/09. Turns out he left the paperwok at 4/7, saying it was "close enough". Well, whatever. The next scan agreed with 4/7/09. Thing is, I *know* 4/2/09 is more accurate. But I will be staying with 4/7/09. I have absolutely no intention of being induced ever again. Two times was more than enough for me thank you, and I want to go into labor naturally. Oh, and I'd just love to skip another hep-lock disaster (remember with Joshua I had to have 4 in 8 hours???). My midwife said I might actually be due in March - but for now I'll stay with my latest date, in hopes that I'll go "on time" so I don't start getting the "Let's induce you" prod. The more time I have, the less likely an induction is. Did you follow that? Clear as mud, I know.

How am I feeling?
Beyond the whole Joshua aspect. Physically I'm good. Round ligament pain is pain in the butt because even though it's not that painful - it scares the daylights out of you. Every time I feel the slighest twinge I freak out. As do most mom's - be truthful now. Nausea happened between weeks 7 and 8, and it sucked. I did not throw up though. Let here it for not puking! I am NOT a fan of puking. All up I've probably lost it about 6 times combined from both pregnancies. I just don't puke. Instead I stumble around with this ultra-queasy thing happening for hours and days on end. My condolences and high respect for high-roller-pukers! I cannot even imagine hypermesis-sufferers. And especially those of you who have jobs and/or other children. What a horrid way to start a pregnancy! (Hypermesis is those poor women who just puke and puke and puke. They end up on anti-nausea meds, and some puke their whole 9 months - God bless them!)

I'm feel flubby, but that's because I didn't get back in shape after either of my children so the spare tire/ring-o-tub/muffin top that I endeavor to mash into my jeans every day has sprung up with a vengeance screaming, "I'm a baby belly! I'm a baby belly!" and I squalk at it and say, "Oh no you don't you vengeful piece of junk, get back in where you belong!" I think what kills me is when people say, "Oh, you don't show at all", and I look down and realize my FLAB looks like FLAB. Not baby belly. Well, to be fair, I know I show. And that's all that matters. I'd rather have a bump than a blob.

Have I thought about names?
Uh, yes. Have we discussed them? No. We don't do names very well. Matt says he needs to pray about it. Fine with me. However I did tell him I get to name this one, since he named the first two. MY TURN! MY TURN! To which is sort of snorted and said, "Whatever!" I'll keep my name ideas to myself though. Watch, next week I'll be blathering on about names.

Why two ultrasounds so far?
The first was a "dating" scan. Which is sort of funny, since I'm absolutely positive on my dates. But whatever. I needed to see that heartbeat. I need to know I wasn't crazy. And I needed to know it wasn't a blighted ovum or something crazy like that. You know, once something's gone wrong, you learn all about the other things that can go wrong. Talk about pins and needles! In terms of pregnancy problems, ignorance is bliss. The less you know, the less you worry about. That said, I in no way condone not learning about your baby, your pregnancy, and the potential issues. But I realize now how relaxed I was about Oceana's pregnancy! My only real concern was - "What if they're wrong and it's a boy? I'll have to return all this pink stuff!" (*rolling my eyes* Oh, horrors!)
The second one was for nuchal translucency. With my other pregnancies I didn't get this because I was in the club, "I won't abort, so I don't need to know". I'm still in that "I won't abort club" but I needed some reassurance. 20 weeks is a long time to wait with nothing but a heart beat and some nausea to go one. We did it for peace of mind.

What's God saying?
When I first thought I was pregnant I freaked out. I was in SAMOA! And we were far away from pregnancy tests. Or at least, from anonymous places to get a pregnancy test. I knew I could probably ask the nurses on the ship if they had one, but we were afraid it woudl get out if we took one there. So we waited until we got home. Let's just say that of the two weeks I was there I spent 11 days thinking I was pregnant! Can you understand my frustration with Oceana when she wasn't sleeping 4 hours every night? I was exhausted! I was worried about folic acid and prenatals and needing a pregnancy test. And finally I felt the Lord say to "Let it go". There was nothing I could do but wait it out. I had to wait till we got home. And I had to be at peace, otherwise I was going to go crazy. And I think there was probably some pregnant-momma-hormones going on there too. Which may have explained some of my erratic behaviour there. Hehe. that and a serious lack of sleep.
But I'm at peace right now. Hearing baby's heartbeat (134b/m) last week, and seeing two scans (pictures to come) has helped that. But I'm okay, I'm feel confident that this child is healthy and whole.

And from there, I don't know what else to tell you. Feel free to ask questions. I will keep some stuff to myself, but I always love answering your questions. :)

Much love to you all.

It's been killing me to keep this from you, I love talking to you! :)



















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39 comments:

  1. I am so excited for you! The second I read your last blog, I was on my phone telling a friend who prayed right along with me for Joshua.

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  2. Once again, congratulations. I'm so happy for your family. My son has a heart condition that I'm told we have a 50/50 chance of having with future children. It makes me wonder what in the world I worried about with my first pregnancy - or at least the part where I wasn't on bedrest wondering if he would live or not. I appreciate your insight on this.

    You must have so many emotions going on. You really do have a beautiful belly bump.

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  3. Congratulations Susie and Matt and Oceana and Precious Joshua too!
    You looks fabulous! I love your little pooch!
    Congrats again! Happy and Healthy 9 months!!!!

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  4. You are a truly amazing woman 8). Thanks for 'talking' to us. I love hearing/reading your thoughts. Just had a lovely afternoon with your mum & dad. They came for one of those long lunches! Great stuff. Take care, big hugs and we will hopefully see you over the next two weeks xxxx

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  5. Awesome, simply awesome, Susie! I'm so happy for you.

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  6. You sound great. I'm happy for you & glad you aren't letting "what will people say or think" steal your joy.
    MUCH LOVE,
    Marie
    not too be pushy but have you had a chance to see my questions I emailed?

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  7. Susie, I am SO thrilled for you, Matt, and Oceana! I got chills when I saw your post. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy. Enjoy every second of it. I'll be praying for you and baby #3.

    Kelly
    Jan 08 Mom
    (mommytojohn, twosweetpeas)

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  8. I haven't checked in with you for a while, and when I do, I hear this,

    YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you guys. WHOOOHOOOOO.

    Congratulations!

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  9. I've mentioned before that our oldest was a NICU baby & after the trauma that went w/ his emergency c-section it took me 4 yrs before I could even think about having a baby & then I was freaked out a lot the whole time. You are completely Normal!!! I'm so happy & excited for your family to have this opportunity to welcome another sweet spirit into your home. Enjoy all of the wonderful "baby talk".

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  10. Hey Susie, congratulations! Wow! I've been away for 2 months, to come back and find this awesome news. I am just so excited and happy for you and your family. All the best for the pregnancy xx

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  11. Susie,
    I can't sleep, so I am blog-hopping. I love your picture. And I know I already commented a "Congrats" on your recent blessed news, but I just wanted to further encourage you. Hold on to the joy and embrace whatever moments you are given. One of the most beautiful gifts that shines through your family's story is your courage to allow joy for every bit of Joshua's journey to bless and sustain you. I remember my timid hope after we lost our twins, Faith and Grace during my pregnancy with Thomas. And after we lost Thomas, many in my life were not ready to hope or embrace joy when we were surprised a few years later with a fourth pregnancy. I was pretty lonely in my determination to hold on to joy...and the road was not easy. But at the end of that journey was the miracle of our James... a brother for our son Timothy, a joy-restorer for my husband, Tim, and and the fulfillment of a promise for me..."that those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." (Forgive me for not looking up the address for this verse...it is 4:12a.m. here in the U.S. and I am too weary to move!)I am not saying that our joy is based on circumstances or in receiving the results we wish for...but you are right to cherish the joy in today's blessings, because none of us knows what tomorrow may bring. We are to trust God and live in the peace and assurance of His promises for today. You are such a beautiful example of that. Thank you for sharing your life with us. And please know that we are praying for all of you...and for the little one you carry. Keep shining...keep hoping...and keep on allowing joy to reign.

    God Bless,
    Kelly
    http://sufficientgrace-kelly.blogspot.com

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  12. So thrilled for you and your family :) Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, as much as the usual discomforts of growing a bubba allow!! :)

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  13. Susie, I've suspected this for some time. I'm not sure if it was a hint you dropped or intuition or what, but it doesn't mean that I am not SUPER EXCITED to hear it!!!! Way to go Susie! You can really keep a secret! Congratulations this is so exciting!

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  14. I had hyperemesis with both boys. The first time around it was awful, the second time a little less so but still, I was just med up constantly to keep anything down. I literally puked the entire nine months up until 12 hrs post delivery. And then it stopped. Miserable. So I'm glad to hear you dont feel like that!

    And you dont look like you have a muffin top. In a few more months it'll be one heck of a muffin top.

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  15. I bet you've notice someone from Mankato, MN reading your blog. I have been following your family for a long time. You have amazing strength and a wonderful relationship with God as I. I finally felt I should leave a comment. Congratulations with the new one and it will be exciting to follow along. Your faith is an inspiration.

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  16. This is so exciting..... Thank you for sharing your life with all of us.....can't wait to watch & read as this new baby grows.

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  17. Christina TAylor n familySeptember 28, 2008 at 9:04 AM

    SUSIE!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soo stinking haooy fir you. We havent had internet, so my mom called my yesturday while we were in Home Depot picking out paint and told me the exciting news!!! I almost flipped out, and was like i wish i had your number and was gonna call you right there, buttt then i remembered that yikes, that would be expensive, lol.... CANT wait to hear more. OH and guess what Jason moght be getting married next year, sooooooo maybe we will get to see you and your newest little one!!! YEAH!!!!!! LOVE to you all, tell Matt Congrats and Oshee and YOU!!!!

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  18. So amazing!!!! Will be parying for you!

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  19. Well, congrats again. I am so happy for you. I do have a few question.

    I am guessing this was not planned, right? It's a surprise blessing?

    Are you taking prenatal vitamins this time around?

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  20. You look great! I can totally realte to simply wanting peace of mind. Im so glad you have that.
    Enjoy being pregnant!

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  21. congratulations Susie. I will pray for you.

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  22. I love the best name you pick out. It fits perfectly.

    I love when people think it's to soon for something. God brings people in and out of your life. This pregnancy is perfectly timed.

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  23. I was out of town yesterday so the first thing I 'had to' do this morning was check your blog :| eek. I probably should be cleaning instead. Im so glad to hear that you are really truly excited and enjoying the pregnancy so far...And your sooo showing. how dare those people make you think your flabby! lol.I tell you - you look a heck of alot better with baby #3 than I did. Plus I think your belly is in the 'cute' phase...you know- before its gigantic and driving you crazy.lol.

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  24. Just sooo happy for you. :) I love the promise of new life and a new baby on the way.

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  25. I am beyond thrilled for you & Matt!!! Congratulations!

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  26. you do too have a cute baby bump! that pic shows it. I think you look great (and tiny by the way)!!

    Cant wait to see more pics of your growing belly and finally your little one when he or she makes their grand entrance!!

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  27. I'd say you definitely look pregnant not flabby - don't know how you've been hiding the bump!!

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  28. Can I tell you how excited I am for you...AND that you're due around the same time as me? I'm telling you April 2009 is THE month!!!

    I so hear you about the non-induction. I'm also fibbing my due date! Hahaha. I'm really pretty sure I'm due March 24th, but the OB dated it for April 4th so that's what I'm going with. No pitocin! No no no!

    All my best,
    becca

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  29. CONGRATULATIONS! I am thrilled for you.

    Love,
    Karen in TN

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  30. did you say Pink stuff?!?

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  31. SUSIE!!! A zillion congratulations!! I'm a long time Susie/Joshua/Oceana fan and am thrilled for you. AND...I'm due on 4/2/09 as well!!! Maybe they'll be twins!!?? ;-) (I too am not a puker but a heaver. Gross.)

    Here's to growing bellies and kicking baby feet (and peace of mind).

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  32. I know I slack on commenting but this indeed deserved a comment! I am ecstatic! With you...for you! I so wish we lived closer to each other... :(

    I know all about the people who likely think it is too soon. They don't have to even say a word; just the look on their face gives it all away. But I prayed about this baby...well before he/she even came to be. And after Eva I more like begged God than prayed for new life and in his time. We weren't trying, but we weren't preventing either. We just trusted and believe that if and when it was going to happen it would happen.

    Did I mention how happy I am for you??? Looking forward to the names if and when you share! Looking forward to walking yet another journey w/ you. And I also look forward to delivering a month before you too... ;) 3/7/2009 for us...but I am shooting more towards 2/28/2009 w/ no induction nor c-section. Will be praying for this new little life! Love, Chrissy

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  33. Many congratulations! How wonderful!

    Laurie in Minnesota

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  34. Susie,
    You are so sweet! I love to read all your posts!! I went back yesterday & read the posts that you have on the left side over there. I had already read all of them several times but it's sweet to go back and read about you with sweet Joshua. I am still struck by how you reacted to everything. You are such a sweet mommy & such a strong woman. I am so impressed that at the tender age of 22/23 you were able to handle all of that with such grace & dignity. I am totally amazed! That is a testament to the relationship you have with God & the faith you have in what He has in store for you. I found your blog through Eva Janette who I found through Poppy Joy. I am so thankful that I did because you have been an inspiration! Thanks for sharing your beautiful family with us!
    Emily

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  35. What absolutly amazing news! God's blessings on your new baby and I'll pray for an uneventful and healthy pregnancy.

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  36. I love the way you told us! CONGRATULATION!!! I know we all can't wait to meet your new little one! I pray that God will grow your nugget and you stronger EVERYDAY!

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  37. There is a reason you look young with Oce....you ARE young silly! In years any way. you look young for your age, and then you look a century too young for your wisdom. Like a preemie who walks while still looking like a newbie! :)

    so have you figured out a name that means "Let Go and Let God" yet?? lol

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  38. why did you keep saying you had a secret, then say "no I'm not pregnant", when you really were?

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