Friday, October 26, 2007

A Parenting Moment

I had a thought yesterday, "Only a parent would do this." Where did a comment like that come from?
We were in Tauranga (nearest city) yesterday, doing some work on the YWAM ship, and I was having a meeting about radio spots on the national Christian radio station. We were late leaving the ship and still had to stop and pick up groceries (since it's cheaper there than in our small town). By the time we left the store it was 5:30, and we run a drop-in-centre from 7pm (need to set up at 6:30). It's a 50 minute drive home. I had nothing made for dinner, so I had unilaterally decided that we would have fish and chips tonight, because otherwise it's gonna be pb&j!
We were headed out of town when Matt drove up the the onramp for the highway and saw stop and go traffic headed out of the city. Argh! It wasn't too far before it opened up and we were on our way.
10 minutes later, I heard a funny sound from Oceana's carseat. I turn around to look and witness the first time Oceana has ever puked. Okay, baby's spit up, and occassionally they get a gut full of milk that disagrees and that comes up - but she's never actually "Blown Chunks". Ok, this was a blowing chunks episode. The poor baby was clicked into the carseat, so she couldn't lean forward and she looks totally scared (since she hasn't done this before).
I yelled to Matt, "Oh my gosh, she's throwing up everywhere!" I took on my belt and turned around in the seat - trying to turn her head so she wouldn't choke, since I couldn't get her out of the carseat at 100km an hour! Matt then says the famous words, "What do you want ME to do!?!"
I then had a flashback to a similar time. Oceana was 7 weeks old, and we were driving to Vermont for Matt and Jessie's wedding. I had changed Oceana while we were driving - just undid the bottom of the belt and changed her. Unfortunately I misplaced the diaper when I put it back on, and missed a portion of her left cheek. 10 minutes later I screamed, "Oh my gosh! Matt there's poop everywhere!" And he said, "What do you want ME to do!?!?!"
If my husband were to yell - "Poop or puke is everywhere!", my response would be to pull over ASs SOON AS POSSIBLE. But no, he's a man and I have to say - "PULL OVER!"
So there's where my flashback came in and again I had to yell "PULL OVER!"
We pulled over and I started extracting Oceana from her seat - ew. Okay, I'll spare you the details, but let's just says she did a GREAT job! So there I am, 7 1/2 months pregnant, on a main highway at rushhour, standing at the trunk of my car, stripping my now-soaked daughter from all her clothes, and trying to save her shoes from getting anything on them (the socks and shoes were the only thing we did manage to save). And that's when I heard myself thinking, "Only a parent would do this!" Again, I'm trying to spare details, but if you have to wipe the button on the carseat in order to PUSH it - that's nasty! If you have to worry about taking the shirt off and SMEARING stuff on the baby's face - that's nasty! If you have to wipe the carseat down with toilet paper (because you forgot the wipes today) before putting the baby back in - that's nasty!
We did as quick a job as we could, threw everything that smelled in a box in the trunk and sped off down the road to make it home in time.
She threw up twice more on the rest of the drive home, but I -caught it-. Oooh, you thinking I'm kidding. We didn't have time to stop so I -caught it-. Ew. Only a parent.
Then we got to The Green with our fish and chips and clean baby from her 2 minute bath time at home. I gave her a chip or two, thinking she probably expelled anything bad and she'll be fine. 15 minutes later she's sitting on the floor in front of a 15 year old boy who was eating his dinner and she starts blowing chunks again. Ok - after the 3rd outfit in an hour and a half - it's just time to go to bed.
Twice more before the night was out and three loads of laundry later.... we made it to Saturday morning.
She blew her breakfast everywhere. So! No more food that doesn't resemble toast or applesauce for a fair while now. Ew.
Only a parent would do this.

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