Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I live in a world where ....

.... "Get off the table!" isn't odd at all.

.... "Get a towel, please," is heard at least once a day.

... "This is the last show. And if you complain when I turn it off, there's no TV tomorrow," is the weapon of choice.

... "Push the green button and call Daddy. You can ask him," is my cop-out mechanism.

... "No! No! Mud does NOT belong on the porch in front of the back door!" gets shrieked. Skip rationality. There were mud pies in front of my door.

... "Do not pass go! Do not pass $200! Go to the tub! Don't touch the walls!" was the calmest I was yesterday afternoon.

... "What do you want? I don't know what you're saying. Say it again? I still don't understand honey, I'm sorry. Do you want this? This? This one? This?" is our guessing game.

... "I know it's wet Sweetie. Turn your cup right-side-up and that won't happen." is the smartest thing I've said this morning.

What about you?


  1. I love the "smartest thing you've said" statement. That was great. It does feel like your brain turns to mush when you care for little ones all day long.

  2. Love it! Sounds like our house! You're not alone in your madness ;)

  3. My 2.5 yr is just recently potty trained. We are working on wiping ourselves. Today, after said 2.5 yr old went potty, I handed her a flushable wipe, she makes one pass. Then I caught myself saying " wipe your vagina, NOT your face" ewww!!!

  4. Yes, those are yesterday's hits and today's favorites around here, too. Also, a lot of this:

    "Oh, honey, poop is our body's garbage. We don't touch it."

    "I don't think Gilly's mommy really let's her wear make-up. And even if she does, I'm not Gilly's mommy."

    "Hitting doesn't let people see how awesome you are."

  5. I may or may not have said last night , "are you done pooping yet? mommy wants to go to bed"

    it's true when they say "patience is a virtue" too bad i'm working with little to none!

  6. To my daycare boys: "Point your penis down INTO the potty!"

    To my daughter: "Mama will fix it!" This one I love because my daughter feels safe and loved with such a capable mama.

    Some minor fixes: Using Krazy Glue to get the little flower decal to stick on her fingernail and mopping up a trickly of urine that ran down her leg when she said she was done, stood up off the potty and really wasn't quite all done.

    Big fix of the week: Mopping up the bathroom floor after she accidently knocked over a large bucket of water while scrambling to get on the potty.

  7. OMG...I'm in tears I'm laughing so hard!!! As a mother of 6 I know exactly where you are coming from. Today it was "AJ, get up! You're not a dustmop!" as my 5 yr old "inchwormed" across the floor of the ER on his side giggling hysterically because Mom called him a "dustmop." Nevermind the fact that HE was the reason we were at the ER...His eyes were almost swelled shut with poison ivy from "snuggling" chickens 2 nights ago who had apparently been running thru poison ivy patches in the woods right before the snuggle session.