Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Love's Long Journey

Ever read that book?
Love's Long Journey is part of the Love Comes Softly series by Janette Oke
(some of my favorite reading material growing up, and now).

I think it's a very good name for our last 6 years.

We first saw each other in February '03 during a college visit.
We were aware of each other freshman year, but never spent time together ('03-'04).
Then, thanks to a water fight that turned epic, we "noticed" each other (Fall '04).
By January '05 we were dating.
March '05, engaged.
And July 9, 2005 we were married.

Here's a few things that have happened along the way.

We were married on a very hot day in July.
We thought out honeymoon would be a cute cottage getaway by a lake.
It was a fishing cabin by a smelly lake.

We had a beautiful baby girl 9 months and 2 days (oh yes, I was counting) after that.

Oceana Faith was 7lbs, 11oz.
We had no idea what we were doing.
She's not broken, despite our ignorance.

We graduated from Elim Bible Institute 3 weeks later.
We wrote papers, took exams, and worked, and barely slept during that time.

We moved 5 weeks after that --- to New Zealand.
We meant to be there for 3 months and finish our internship, required to completely our school requirements.
We didn't leave for over 4 years.
We did everything from property maintenance, to picking rhubarb, to event coordination, to DTS staffing, to mission team organization, and a whole lot of other things.

Joshua Matthew made his debut January 7, 2008 and changed our lives forever.
6lbs 8oz.
We still had no idea what we were doing.
But he helped up navigate his 67 days.
We learned things we never wished to learn.
We joined a "club" we had no interested in joining.

We held our promoted son in our arms and said goodbye.
We planned a funeral for our baby.

We tried to keep life normal for Oceana, even though we felt like we were rotting inside.

We've been on some dates.

We've celebrated birthdays.

Naomi Aroha was born in our living room ((on purpose)) April 10, 2009.
She weight 8lbs 2oz.
She had reflux.
We didn't think it was reflux.
Our sleepless nights and puke-stained carpet said otherwise.

For a variety of reasons
((including, but not limited to sleeplessness, necessary energy boosts,
meetings, relaxing, and the fact that we love the taste))
drank more than our fair share of coffee.
((We --- ahem, or just Matt --- don't like our picture being taken)).

We had some fun.
We played and created and lived.

We lost a baby in August 2010 at 7 weeks.

We moved back to the USA.
It feels like "Home".
So does New Zealand.
We will always be torn, no matter where we live.

We lost another precious baby at 15 weeks.
We became disillusioned.
We still do not understand why we've lost 3 of our 5 children.

This road has been the hardest.
There were many good moments.
It's a journey with bumps and pot holes that I couldn't wish on our worst enemies.
But we've survived.

I love you Matti. HVD.


  1. Love is a long journey, for sure. And it isn't always fun or easy. But, navigating life together - the hard, the fun, the easy, the horrible. . . is the way God designed it.

    Here's to having a wonderful man to love and call your own!

  2. You guys are awesome and you Susie, are a fantastic writer! May your next 6 years (and beyond) be filled with ONLY happiness! XO

  3. Your posts are always so beautiful and get to the heart of the matter! Thank you for sharing your triumphs and sorrows. You are a stronger and more courageous person because of them!

  4. Beautifully written and a perfect book title to steal. Praying the future years are easier. At least you have such a great partner to share in the sorrows, and joys!

  5. What a wonderful post. I love reading your honesty. I wish I was that honest in a public forum. BTW thank you so much for the suggestion for the knitting site.

  6. that is an amazing post! your kids are all so adorable and its clear how strong your love and marriage is. keep on keeping on

  7. I didn't know that you had 2 miscarriages....my heart goes out to you I'm so sorry. It's crazy the things God takes us through to teach us how to love and how to trust Him and each other. May God continue to bless your marriage through the good times and the hard.

  8. I've not been here in WAY too long. I'm so sorry to hear of the losses of your two pregnancies.