Joshua's 2nd birthday

My beautiful son, Happy Birthday!

You had your own ideas, from the very start.

Doctors -- very smart doctors, who knew what they were talking about -- told us that you wouldn't live.

They told us that you might die before you ever had the chance to breathe.

You were safe inside me for 41 weeks and 2 days.

And in my heart of hearts I hoped all the ultrasounds were wrong.

When you arrived, your condition was just as they had described.

But they were wrong about one thing.

You didn't die.

In fact, you defied the odds.

You didn't just defy the odds, you became an anomaly.

You became a medical miracle.

For 67 days you lived in our arms.

Free of tubes, wires, incubators, hospital scrubs, none were found in our home.

Instead you wore your own clothes, your own blankets, slept in your borrowed bassinet, and wore your funny little hats.




You had the most delicate hands, that did funny little things.

Your fingers didn't want to curl around my fingers like your sister's had, so instead I helped you curl them around mine.

You experienced life in your own way.

Dignified, stubborn, and so loved.

Tonight I told your Nana again how you knew me, even though you may not have been consciously aware.

Your spirit recognized mine, you felt our love.

You went from being loved inside me, to being loved outside me, to being loved away from me - but with Jesus

Your sister still knows you. She recognizes you, she talks about you.

You have another sister now too. She will learn to love you.

You will always be an integral part of our family.

Joshua Matthew, you can never be replaced, you can never be forgotten.

To forget you, would be to ignore the missing puzzle piece in the middle of a puzzle.

It is obvious to us, every moment of the day, that you are not here.

As much as life would have been extraordinarily busy with you and your two sisters, I wish for the chaos every day.

I wish for two babies in nappies.

I wish for a toddler who gets into trouble!

I wish for a reason to look in the boy's clothing department.

I wish for frogs, dirt, sticks, and trucks.

Trains, planes, and automobiles.

But Joshua, even though we don't have you in the way we so desire, we have you still.

You are ever present in our minds and our hearts.

Your perfect little face, your perfect hands and feet. Your outtie belly-button, your single solitary curl.

Your skinny little legs, your perfectly kissable cheeks [just like your little sister's].

Big Brother, Little Brother, Son, Grandson, Great-Grandson.

Miracle.

41 weeks, 2 days, and 67 days of miracles.

You lived.

Joshua Matthew Sams
7 January 2008
Born at 6:24pm @ Tauranga Birthing Unit
with the help of Dr Mattius Seidel & Midwifes Pat Stringer & Eudette Madsen.
Weighing 6lbs, 80z, and 17 inches in length.
With on curl between your head and your 'cele,
Long thin hands, feet, fingers, and legs
No wimpers, no cries, just one little squeak.


Joshua, you were loved every moment of your life.

You are still loved, in every moment.

We miss you, we love you, and we can't wait to see you!

All our love,

Momma, Daddy, Oceana, and Naomi