Monday, August 10, 2009

Grace and poise

Some women have it. Some women don't.

Grace and poise, that is.

I do not.

The closest I get to poise, is this. Not that I'm there. Yet. I mean, I have had 3 children in as many years. My system's got a used by date, and I'm sure I'll approach it faster than some of you.

But grace and poise, in the midst of a storm... some women just exude an aura of elegance.

Me? I cry. Ok, I'm not really one of those fall-apart-at-the-drop-of-hat type of people. Quite the contrary. I'm usually the one in the corner, biting her lip and not making eye contact with people so that I don't cry.

But when the storm's bad? Then I cry.

So yesterday, out the front of police station, I cried. Because I'd asked this police station to do something for me 3 or 4 times in the previous days. And I kept getting put off. And told to wait. And wasted gas to drive there (30 minutes each way), and then to top it all off, I got told no.

And so I cried. I guess I should have used one of these for my face. It would have been helpful. Because instead I used a baby wipe. Or three. That's not exactly poised and elegant either, I guess. But neither is this, when in use on the face, anyways.


See, we're applying for residency. And I have to prove all sorts of crazy stuff. Like that we make a certain amount of money a week. Which we don't. Since we're on faith-based-support, instead of a salary or hourly wage - we never can say exactly what we "make". And anyways, we don't make the amount this government says it takes to raise 2 children. Well, I beg to differ, because our children are healthy and happy, so poopoo on your so-called necessary funds.

Or that I don't have a raft of diseases and disabilities. Which I so diligently subjected myself to tests for. Bloods drawn, chest x-ray, and even allowing my waist to be measured. (*Sob* But can I just say that my kinda-sorta-cheaper-than-these-spanx stayed on? I didn't want to know the truth. My waist was 25 inches in college).

Or that my husband can speak English. Because people who were born in the USA generally don't speak acceptable English. Apparently.

Or that my children actually belong to me. Can I send them pictures of my stretch marks? That's sure to impress them. "See? I traded my tender little tummy for a barrel of weed-wacker-nonsense." Turns out they only wanted the birth certificate. Ya woos. "You can't handle the truth!"


Do I sound unhinged?

Probably 'coz I am.



I talked myself into not buying ice cream last night because I knew I'd eat the whole blinkin' box on my own if I did. Ahem. About that waist measurement.


Off to drink more coffee and decide how on earth I'm going to sort out this latest mess. The lab won't take Matt's blood because the doctor's signature is on the wrong part of the two pieces of paper. No, I'm not kidding. And he's living an hour away still, so it's not like I can just pop down to the doctor's office and fix that. It would include 4 hours of driving for me to fix that. So we'll see if we can fix it another way instead.


  1. Ok - firstly - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - Oh my goodness you made me laugh. Poise - I LOVE IT!!!!! and for a face wipe!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha I'm wetting my pants - whoops time for a poise (sorry!!)
    Secondly - I have Grace but not yet poise!!!, but as you know, my Grace is my daughter!!!
    Ok - now seriously - wow all this sux. So sorry you have to go through it all. What a pain in the neck, or arm or where ever that needle went (whoops sorry again!)
    Which police station did you have to go to that is 30 mins away??
    Wrongly signed paperwork, can't they give you a break? How RIDICULOUS.
    And as for the stretch marks - another HAHAHAHA - when everything has been confirmed send a photo anyway!! Silly people.
    What an absolute major.
    Take care you.
    Margo xxxx

    PS - By the way - I love the way you write. It's fantastic.

  2. Susie,
    I think at sometime we all feel a little desperate... you seem to be there. No one will ever place a top priority on the things you need done... just the things they want done. Unless you get it... and most people in public service don't.

    Hang in there!

    a tidbit about ME...
    I usually hold it all in...until I cannot take it anymore... I blow my top... when it hits me that how I have acted is wrong... then I have to go straight to damage repair. I am glad you vented here... it's a healthy outlet.


  3. I really do question the NZ Government's decision making processes. I, for example qualify for a weekly accomodation supplement and a childcare subsidy, however I "earn too much" to be given a loan from WINZ for a washing machine.

    I hope everything gets sorted for you soon!

  4. Wow, Susie, You need a Day Off!!!!
    Did you cry in front of the police at the police station cuz I would think that would make them change their minds... Sob, hysterically... should get them and tell them they are the ones Guilt.
    Guilt might work.
    Good luck getting this all done. What a hassle.
    Have a Good Day today!

  5. Sorry you're having so much trouble. I know your pain. DH wasn't a citizen of the USA when we met. The USA immigration is just as bad!


  6. you are an amazing woman. you are so strong. you handle so much. so i saw cry girl cry. grace and poise is over rated!!!!!

  7. I'd be ungracefully unhinged too. Geez Louise! What a bunch of stupid hoops you have to jump through... grrr.


  8. Oh Susie, I am so sorry for all of this happening right now. I sent the birth certificates out August 5th, so hopefully you will get them soon. I have been praying for favor with immigration since I know what a battle it was with your parents. But remember how God worked everything perfectly so that your parents were here and we were all together for your beautiful wedding. I so enjoyed the time spent with your parents while they were here while their residency was being worked through. God is still in control. Psalm 56:8-9 You number my wanderings. You put my tears into your bottle. Are they not in your book? When I cry out to you then my enemies will turn back, this I know, because God is for me. Paraphrased for me personally. A verse I lean upon every day because I need to. Know that you are not alone as my prayers are always with you. Love you, Mom Sams

  9. *hugs* and i though immigration in Australia was bad - NZ sound way worse. I never had to get measured.

  10. Awww...sounds like you had a hard day! I am not graceful or poised either & probably would have responded the way you did. That's so crazy that you have to make a certain amount of money in order to get residency - we are in ministry, too, and it is amazing all that God provides!

  11. So you mean I will never be graceful? ahh man. Don't worry, I bite my lip and try not to cry all the time. My mom calls me over sensitive, I call myself---well, emotional.

    I've been following you for awhile now and I never had the guts to tell you anything or comment. I don't know why I choose to comment you now, I guess I have the stomach! :p

    I hope all goes well and you can continue your life in beautiful NZ.

  12. oh dear, if you werent so far away I'd send you a huge crap ton of ice cream. you sound like you need it!