I'm ashamed to admit this, but my Bible gets neglected. A lot. Like, a LOT lot (My mother is cringing over my grammar right there). I've never been one of those scheduled routine type people. Never. The extend of my routine is, 1. Feed children, 2. Read blogs, 3. Eat something. That's a routine. And often it doesn't go in that order. Often it's Coffee first, THEN blogs. And then breakfast when Oceana asks. But see, even my routine's not a routine!
My Bible has rarely been a part of my routine. When I was in high school I was better. In college I was okay. Since I've been a parent? It's been sad. I wish I didn't have to say that often a month will go by and I haven't touched my Bible.
See, the strange thing is - I love to read it. I can't understand why I don't make it my priority. Often I think, "Tomorrow", "During naptime", "Tonight". But like all things procrastinated, I don't get around to it.
But today I was laying on the floor taking pictures of Naomi. She wasn't very happy with me - turned out she needed a nap. I was laying on the floor with my finger in her mouth to plug the squalling (*grin*), when I looked over and saw my Bible on the bookcase. And for once, I didn't procrastinate. I wrapped Naomi up, since it was obvious this photo shoot was going nowhere, and plopped down on the couch with my Bible.
Since I had one arm holding her and a finger from the other hand occupied, I wedged myself sideways in the chair, finagled a hand-free for a moment, opened up the Bible, and started reading on the left. I figured that since I wasn't going to be able to turn pages, but at least I could read two pages - the left and the right.
And wouldn't you know - God met me. He met me on the right page.
"Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the LORD." Psalm 31:24 NAS
Last night at home group we were talking about Hope. And I blogged about Hope on Sunday, after my pastor's wife, Amy spoke about Hope on Sunday. Hope. Strength. Courage.
OK God - You've got my attention.
And I felt the Lord remind me that I can't do this on my own. I can't change myself. That's something He's going to change in me. That's not to say I don't have to make some decisions. But what good is my struggle to know God more if I don't ask Him to help me know Him better?
It's gonna take some resolve though. Because no sooner do I start reading, but it starts raining on my laundry - all 5 loads. And it's 3 o'clock, so its time to put the chicken in the oven. And my parents are coming for dessert tonight, except that I have no dessert. And I wanted to exercise today. And Naomi's screeching again. And sooner or later Oceana (O-shee-ann-uh to whoever asked) will get up from her nap and we'll be off to the races.
Strength. Courage. Hope. Resolve.
Will you join me? Or am I the only one? I've been transparent with you, will you be transparent with me?