Friday, November 7, 2008


From Be Strong and Courageous

Just 10 months ago this minute, we were blessed with a son.

10 months old.

By 10 months, Oceana was walking, jabbering a bit, and eating her own foods.

And today, we're expecting a 3rd, without the 2nd present. It doesn't feel right. I should be paranoid about the prospect of a new-walker and a new-born.

But instead I feel confident that my preschooler is potty trained and I'll only have one in diapers.

I wish I had two in diapers and another potty trained.

I wish I had to think about finding size 1 boys clothes.

I wish I had to juggle three.

I do juggle three, one's in my heart, one's in my tummy, and one's in my arms.

It take a lot of juggling to do that.

Today someone (who doesn't know us very well) said, "Oh, three years apart! That's a nice break!"

No. I'd prefer 21 and 15 month breaks, actually.

I miss you my handsome boy.


  1. I feel ya, sister. I feel ya.

  2. Susie, praying for you today! I wish you had to worry about all those things, too!

  3. Sweet Susie,
    This tugged at my heart-strings big time. What a lesson you just taught... unless you have walked in someone's shoes... you just don't know.

  4. "I do juggle three, one's in my heart, one's in my tummy, and one's in my arms.
    It take a lot of juggling to do that."

    A *lot* to do that - you are so right and you are doing an amazing job of doing so.

  5. *hugs* to you and Matt, and all 3 of your little ones!

  6. Praying for you in Ohio. God works in mysterious ways. which I'm sure you know. (hugs)


  7. Hi Susie~ This post brought tears to my eyes and yet a smile to my lips.

    Thanks for letting us see this through your eyes.

    Happy 10 months, Joshua! I'll be praying for you today, Susie. God bless.

  8. You juggle beautifully, Sweetheart. I know that not a single one of those balls will fall to the ground.

  9. Joshua is a beautiful boy.
    My heart is heavy for you, yet lightened with hope.

    Allison in Baton Rouge, LA

  10. Susie,
    I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you & praying for you. I can only imagine how bitter-sweet this whole process is. On one hand being so sad that Joshua is not here with you to enjoy & play with but so happy about the new little life growing inside! I think you must be incredibly strong. I'm so excited for you as you get closer everyday to enjoying this new baby. All 3 of your babies are very lucky to have such a strong & loving mommy! I have been blessed by you & the stories of your sweet family many times. You always brighten my day with your new posts!!
    Love in Christ,
    Emily in Mississippi

  11. Happy Birthday baby Joshua. We miss you! We're praying for your mommy and daddy, your newest baby sister or brother, and your older sister Oceana.

  12. your Joshua is just beautiful. i am so sorry. sending you hugs this morning.

  13. i love what you said about juggling 3... you do have 3 children.

    have a great day


  14. I wish it was 21 months and 15 months as well! Your beautiful, your family is beautiful, and you are an inspiration to me. Reading you blog has brought me closer to God and has brought faith back into my life. Thank you Joshua!

  15. Thank you for always putting life and the things we "juggle" in perspective. I'm remembering Joshua today too, and praying for you.

  16. oh Susie, i have tears in my eyes... we love you here and are praying for you, i know it cant be different but i wish, along with you, he was still here with all of us... love your American fam.

  17. I said a prayer for you susie, I'm still a very faithfull reader even though I havn't commented much. He is such a beautiful boy!

  18. Doesn't grief suck? You think you're doing OK and then slams back in your face & knocks the breath out of you.

    I know, hon. Been there, done that...still living it. HUGS!

  19. I'm feeling ya. Gideon will be 3 in a few weeks.

    Happy 10 months Joshua. You are missed!

    I like what you said about juggling 3. I am too. I can't wait till it's 4!

  20. Joshua was such a beautiful boy and He will be in his mommy ,daddy , sister and ------- heart forever. Although he 'should' be there with you. Happy Belated birthday Joshua :) Prayers for you Susie,Matt,Oceana and baby.

  21. always glad to hear you talk abour him. this blog definintly gave me a lump in my throat.

  22. Susie...I wish you were too! Nov 8 was Ben's birthday and I thought about you guys all day. Love you so much!