Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The random post of the week

Well, let's not be silly, you know I always do post one random one - about once a week. So you were due! Bwhaha. This is a picture of the coffee cup that was gifted to each person that attended last weekend's conference. Now, how did they know that at a conference predominantly attended by mothers that a pink and white coffee cup was a smart idea? The same people who organized a chocolate founain for afternoon tea! I love this cup. It's not huge, but still big enough to feel like I had a whole cup of coffee. Little cups make me feel ripped off.

My evening last night was filled with Soft Scrub or JIF or CIF depending what country you're in. I have been planning to give the bathroom/toilet a really good clean for a bit now (ok, let's not get into how often I actually clean it), and last night I finally got to it. Let's just say that I think I spent over an hour in the bathroom alone - the toilet room was sort of an after thought, but since it's only a toilet, it doesn't take long. But let's just say you sort of stop somewhere in your subconscious and go, "Am I really gripping a toilet brush with two death grip hands at 11pm?" Sort of makes you laugh inside, doesn't it? BUT! I am now the proud owner of a see-through shower. I know, you're like, "AYE?" It's a plexiglass mottled-surface corner shower unit. It love it, coz I don't take baths much (hatred for all things cold). But the soap scum is SO obvious when it's clear! Grrrr. So there I was, in my old ugg boots and "uniform" sweatshirt, kneeling on the cold tiles, with a big yellow scrub brush and my toothbrush. Yeah, I have another one! Hahaha. I had been planning to use my current toothbrush for cleaning, knowing it was time to switch anyways and I had one waiting in a cupboard. I had a bit of a panic last night when I went to brush my teeth and couldn't find the new one though! So, a toothbrush and softscrub - oh baby are we good friends! Matt came in at one point to try and ruffle my feathers - I think he knows that if he wants a reaction out of me he should wait until I'm working on something. I'm pretty sure he learned it from our friend Cliff, who used to say stuff just to see if his wife would turn around and "act mad". *Rolls eyes* - Boys!

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I'm organizing. And organizing equates to making mess. I have boxes of STUFF just laying around. I weed out a closet or a room or a drawer and it results in a big box of things I need to find a home for. At present I can think of 4 or 5 boxes of stuff that need homes. I walk by and grab one or two things and find them a home, but it's a slow process. It's gonna have to hurry up though, because I want the house clean before my sister arrives - in 6 hours. Eek. She'll not mind if it's dirty or messy, but you know - it's just a mindset. Visitior, clean house.

I'm realizing that I work best under pressure. I'm a procrastinator by trade. :)

Joshua: Yesterday I was telling some friends about Joshua, his life, and what he was like. Since we moved just after he died, our new friends have never met Joshua, and it's a bit sad for me. Joshua's so much a part of me that I forget sometimes that people don't know all about our precious boy. And while I'm tempted to just hand out the blog in hopes that people will understand me better, I resist because I don't want it to be weird. Yesterday, while telling Cherry, Michelle, Belinda, and Jo about our beautiful boy, and handing around my photo album (I carry it in my purse at all times), I was very matter of fact. And Belinda, bless her heart, lost it. She ran off to the kitchen and came back with red eyes and a a HUGE hug. She wants to start a business, photographing pregnancies and newborns - called "With Child Photography", she's just in the planning stages presently, but she's got the weak spot for pregnant women and new babies. I think she'll do great with this business, becaus she seems to have the heart you need to have for it - for seeing the beauty.

I think it's impossible to see the beauty of something if you don't allow your heart to soft and experience pain and joy. I was watching a video blog on my friend's website the other day. I used to be a nanny (when I was 19) for a couple who were wedding photojournalists - check out and to see their gorgeous work. Liesl was talking about how she looks for relationships to photograph, and all the little nuances that are happening on a wedding day - like the look on Daddy's face during his Father/Daughter dance - that stuff. And she just seemed to have such a heart for helping people capture the beauty of their relationship, not just their wedding. I think that's a very true picture of a fantastic photographer - a heart. Anybody can learn the A, B, C's of photograpy, but it takes an artist to see beauty, and a heart to look for it.

I don't know where that last bit came from - just something on my mind I guess.

Oh - Joshua, that's where I was. I miss resting my lips on the top of his head. He had a small ridge across the top of his head, because his skull grew strangely. My lips just fit it - it was perfect. I used to do it all the time. After his cele ruptured, it felt different, and I didn't like it - but I still did it.

I miss him. I wouldn't trade our experience for anything ... he's such a precious boy.
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  1. The cup is awesome...I just like the little spats of left-over coffee showing that the cup truly is loved enough to be used.

  2. I love reading your blog! We think so much alike it's crazy. Half way around the world & we're friends because of Joshua's life. Isn't God good?

  3. Ahhh, that last bit about resting your lips on the top of his head gave me a pang right in my heart. I know exactly what you mean by that and I had a sudden fleeting thought of what it would be like to not be able to do it anymore.

    I know it does not possibly begin to compare to your feelings and that's not my intent. I know I don't really understand. But I hope you don't mind my saying that I "miss" Joshua too.

  4. I've been here several times before, and I really enjoy your blog and photos, but I do miss Joshua-precious and beautiful!

    I can so relate to cleaning a toilet at 11 pm, organizing with boxes/bags sitting everywhere, being a procrastinator, and all your other post on this subject.

    I know the sister thing, and it's difficult living away from her because I can't or she can't just drop in for a visit, ect. Have a great visit with your sister.

    Still thinking of you

  5. So glad your sister is "home" now! I truly hope that since you've now got another girl around to talk to that you won't abandon us, your blog fans!! LOL

    Every time you write about Joshua, my heart just breaks...he was a blessed boy to have such a loving earthly family.

  6. Susie,

    This is Joyce from Boise, ID. I found your blog a few days before you lost Joshua. We lost our Hannah in 1997 when she was 5. I know just what you meant by wishing your new friends had known Joshua. It has been almost 11 years and our life has changed quite a bit. We adopted a little girl from China in 2003 and have a whole new group of friends because of that experience. Which was nice because many of our old friends seemed to drift away because I guess our loss hit way too close to home for them.

    I really enjoy visiting your blog every day. You are a wonderful writer and I love seeing the pictures that you take. Please give Oceana a hug for me and I will give my Mikayla a hug from you.

    Joyce Hartley
    Boise, ID