Sunday, May 4, 2008

The Realization

I honestly didn't get it when people told me Joshua looked like me. There really wasn't much that I recognized. But then last week when I was taking self portraits for that Wordless Wednesday I came across this one. And I about fell over.
I finally saw what everyone else saw so quickly. Our faces, our bone structure, oh eyes, ...

My baby boy looked like me.

I miss him. I cried about him last night - which hasn't happened in a while (outside of church). Reassuring in a way.

Saw a little 10 week old boy today and realized how much Joshua didn't do for his age. But I don't care.

Also watch a Max Lucado film called The Crippled Lamb. It's about a little lamb who's crippled and not like the others his age. He can't do what the others can. He has to stay home at the barn. And he's feeling really sorry for himself until a baby - named Jesus - is born in his barn. When Mary asks Joseph for something to wrap Jesus in, the lamb - named Joshua - goes to Mary and lets her lay Jesus on his back.

Joshua. A comfort to Jesus. Because he wasn't like the rest. Because he got "left behind" he had one of the biggest privileges. He did what no other lamb did.

Well, if anyone else doesn't see the parallels... I did.

And to think Gail told me Oceana wanted to take it home. I'm wondering if perhaps Gail knew I needed to see it.
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  1. ohhhh... I wish I could hug you! I smiled and cried for you just now. What a beautiful picture. Max writes wonderful childrens books... I like the one about the gray dots. (You are special, I think it's called) I'm going to buy them all for my children.

    Don't you love how the Lord is still letting you know that Joshua was not an invisible baby? That he wasn't just a statistic, but a living, breathing, perfect creation... a beloved child of the Father. This may sound really weird... but I miss Joshua! I know my feelings will never, ever hold a candle to yours... but still I miss him. He was such a gorgeous little trooper. And quite the thief! *wink* He stole my heart, anyways. *grin*

    Still praying for you, precious mother of two.

  2. Oh wow, what a neat story!! And yes - I definitely see the parallels!

    You and Joshua did look very much alike...maybe when you look in the mirror you will always see a little part of him now that you see it, too ^_^

  3. I totaly see the similarity and it made me cry just reading about it. YOUR PRECIOUS BOY DOES LOOK LIKE YOU :) and I also think he looks like his grandpa (your dad).
    MARIE (Elijah's mom)

  4. I miss him too. I know it's not the same, but I always looked forward to his pics and hearing what he was up to. All my kids have my eyes and I love it. *hugs*

  5. Dear Susie... I was praying for you just now, and I remembered (or did the Lord prompt?) a poem from the book "What Katy Did". I'm not sure if it may resound with you, but I'll leave it here for you to read anyway.

    I hope you are doing ok this evening, sweetie.


    I used to go to a bright school
    Where Youth and Frolic taught in turn;
    But idle scholar that I was,
    I liked to play, I would not learn;
    So the Great Teacher did ordain
    That I should try the School of Pain.

    One of the infant class I am
    With little, easy lessons, set
    In a great book; the higher class
    Have harder ones than I, and yet
    I find mine hard, and can't restrain
    My tears while studying thus with Pain.

    There are two Teachers in the school,
    One has a gentle voice and low,
    And smiles upon her scholars, as
    She softly passes to and fro.
    Her name is Love; 'tis very plain
    She shuns the sharper teacher, Pain.

    Or so I sometimes think; and then,
    At other times, they meet and kiss,
    And look so strangely like, that I
    Am puzzled to tell how it is,
    Or whence the change which makes it vain
    To guess if it be--Love or Pain.

    They tell me if I study well,
    And learn my lessons, I shall be
    Moved upward to that higher class
    Where dear Love teaches constantly;
    And I work hard, in hopes to gain
    Reward, and get away from Pain.

    Yet Pain is sometimes kind, and helps
    Me on when I am very dull;
    I thank him often in my heart;
    But Love is far more beautiful;
    Under her tender, gentle reign
    I must learn faster than of Pain.

    So I will do my very best,
    Nor chide the clock, nor call it slow;
    That when the Teacher calls me up
    To see if I am fit to go,
    I may to Love's high class attain,
    And bid a sweet good-by to Pain.

  6. Hi Susie,

    I am so glad you see how much Joshua looks like you. I always could see it in the pictures. Beautiful mom and beautiful boy. The lamb story is so perfect, like it was written for Joshua. Your blog is one that does not automatically turn to the new month for me, so I thought you were taking a break. I typed the blog name over and boom, here you are in May. I have not stopped praying for you as things are settling in around you. I think of Joshua often and know in my heart he is perfect.
    He is who God made him to be, a little lamb. Love you Susie.

    Laurie in Ca.

  7. awww... Its so nice to see some pictures of that beautiful little boy that made such a difference in so many peoples lives :) He definately looked like his mommy!

  8. Many paralles! What a sweet story glad you got the chance to watch it and remember Joshua.

    Right after Gideon died the veggie tales came out with Gideon Tuba Warrior. Crazy how things like that work out.

  9. Hi! I'm one of those strangers who mentioned that Joshua looks SOOOO much like his Momma. It's so great that you see that now! And the pictures you posted today show the similarities really well!

    I bought two books for my son this Christmas - one was "The Crippled Lamb" and the other was "You are Special" (which another poster mentioned). I LOVE books. But I love the messages of both of these books. Maybe you should have a copy of "The Crippled Lamb" so you can always remember that God has a special place for people that are deemed "unfit" for our society. He WILL use them for his Glory. You are so right to make the connection between that precious little crippled lamb and your precious little lamb.

    Maybe it's just me - books have that kind of lasting effect with me. I treat them as something very special; something to be treasured. I think you should have a copy of this book!

    All the best from a stranger but fellow believer in Canada.