A good point

Capribaby - a recent commenter - made a reall good point. First off, I think we're probably a lot alike, in that schedules sort of irritate us - or freak us out - one of those. But she made a point about "Time". And it struck a cord with me. I was reading over at Jacob's blog this morning - praise God, that boy's 136 days old! Goodness! What a miracle. And he/his daddy mentioned giving somone a "Jacob hug" today - meaning, that you never know if and when you'll be able to give someone a hug again.
It's like the day that Joshua died I held him a bit after he was gone, but at the time I thought I didn't want to hold him because it wasn't him - and there's a small part of me that regrets that. Granted, it was very strange to hold him - I didn't like it. But he was mine, and after a few weeks it hit me really hard that I can't hold him now.
And while none of us as parents ever want to think about losing our babies, children, adult children - it's possible. And the hugs and kisses and time only happen for a little while anyways. Pretty soon they'll be rubbing our sloppy kisses off and whining because their friends are watching...
I felt like God hit me with a ton of bricks this morning. I heard in my head, "I, of all people, should understand that TIME is more important than getting the STUFF done". Life STOPPED while Joshua was with us. I did a few things, but was never far away from him - in fact I don't think I was away from Joshua for more than an hour the whole time he was with us. I took him to meetings, to church, to friend's places. I led a communications meeting the week before he died, while holding him. And granted, he was the quietest baby in the history of babies, so I can't expect to do the same with Madam Loudmouth (Oce in case you were wondering). But the time element is the same. It's already insane that I don't have a ::baby::, but a toddler. Good grief, she was just tiny the other day right? Then again, the sleep deprivation of having an newborn hasn't ended. Will this kid EVER sleep through the night in her own bed? Ak! Yeah, I know, I should probably be harder on her, but it's difficult to be the disciplinarian when your kid's crying - because of the stuff I mentioned above. Losing her. And losing her is a concern for me. Matt thinks I dwell too much on that stuff, and he's probably right. But I'm pretty sure most moms worry about losing their kids - cars, carseats, standing in the road, walking on the sidewalk and seeing cars careen around a corner, falling off of stuff, etc...

But in all this work stuff - I'm aware that she's my priority. And while I've heard my mother say FOR YEARS that her kids are her priority, and everything else can take a backseat - it's taken me a long time to really believe it for myself. Oceana is my priority. And that means - for me - that if stuff doesn't get done for work or the house, oh well. Coz she's more important. And that means that if something happened to her and she was sick or broke a limb (I have a feeling I'll be THAT mom, the one in the ER a lot....grrrrr) everything else can fall to the side. While I knew that in my head, it really didn't click in my heart until this morning.

So on that note. I know a lot of you have mentioned that you appreciate your children more now than you used to - and that you try to enjoy those midnight hours, because you've seen the heartache of not having them - .... so please, today and tomorrow and forever, enjoy your kids. And if you can, let the other stuff fall away - coz our babies are the priority right? We only get one chance to raise them. One chance to get the kisses and cuddles in without the "Mooooom! Stooooop!". Hehe.

Here's Matt enjoying TIME.
[Please also note, do not give 2 year olds blue highliters. You should see the tights she wore that day. They may never be white again.]