We found an enormous, inflatable slide for the Send Off. Once Oce'd been on once, she coned EVERYONE into taking her on it. She'd have gone on her own, but she couldn't climb the stairs on her own. (Not for lack of trying).
I think I had to go down about 10x. Johnny, Megan, Bethany, and a bunch of other people took her too.
Playing around outside at dusk.
Clarification: Jen it wasn't the pictures of your kids, in fact, I don't think I've read that email yet - so it couldn't have been! It's in waves - because I work in an office with Nesi and Jo who are 6 and 7 months pregnant. They don't really bother me - I think I'm used to it now. It's stuff like the "Elevit" commercial - for prenatal vitamins that "lower the risks of neural tube defects" - AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR! Ok - thank you world - let's rub in my lack of consistancy. I had prenatals, but I'm useless at taking medicine every single day. I probably took 25 or 30 vitamins during my entire pregnancy - even after we knew about his condition. I'm useless that way. So those commericals just make me angry. Makes me wanna throw something at the presenter on the ad.
It's the new mommies in the stores with their teeny tiny babies - the ones that are younger than Joshua. It's the babies that I ask "How old?" and the answer is weeks or days younger/older than Joshua. It's - I'll be honest - the families that have a two year old girl and a newborn boy. I wanna throw myself on the floor when I see that. I can handle a lot of other families and even baby girls are easier to handle - but a family of four - girl first, boy second. Shoot me please.
Another clarification: We chose not to bury Joshua because (until last week) we didn't know if we were going to be able to stay in New Zealand. On a side note - we got our visas through March 2010. I didn't want to bury him here and then not stay! I also didn't know if I wanted to bury him in Tauranga or Waihi Beach (an hour apart from each other). And I didn't want to end up moving in two or three years and not be able to visit him. So for the time being, we have a tiny teddy bear urn. Just looks like a mini cookie jar honestly. I used to think it would bother me, but so long as I don't open it and look at it I'm fine.
And no. Nothing - not a grave, a plaque, a memorial - could make this easier.
I need to head out. I'm walking to work today and it was raining a bit ago. So I want to go while it's nice outside.