Thursday, January 31, 2008

??? Questions ??? 4

Anonymous SC said...

'I have an honest question. I can't help but think that for every day is is alive that it is going to be that much harder when he goes to be with the Lord. How do you think you will handle it when he passes? Do you ever "forget" that that time will come sooner rather than later?"

Well, obviously I'm not sure how I'll react when we lose Joshua. I know I'll be really upset, I know it'll take a long time to walk through the pain, and I know I'll always miss him. This is the second time today I've heard this question, so it's been playing over and over in my mind.

The only way I can explain it is to ask you all this: If you were to get married to the man or woman of your dreams (Or if you already are) - imagine knowing that they'd pass away in a few weeks. Would you spend every waking moment with them? Holding their hand, talking, praying, and trying to fit as may memories into those moments as possible.

Ask anyone that's lost a child, whether before or after birth - they'll tell you they wanted more time. We're creating lifetimes of memories in days, weeks, maybe months.

I can only assume: Please tell me if I'm wrong - Tarah lost two beautiful babies - Grace (03/05) and Gideon (01/06). Gideon lived for six weeks. Tarah and Seth never got to spend time with Grace who was miscarried. I know they wish they'd had more time with Gideon and any time at all with Grace. These are our children. We love them. We want them.

Each day is a gift. A good gift. Yeah, I'll mourn when he's gone. Yeah, it'll be the hardest thing I've ever walked through. Yeah, I'm attached. But there's no way I'd want it any other way. NO WAY IN HELL do I wish he'd passed away sooner. I'm so happy to have him. So thrilled to have time to make memories.

1 comment:

  1. I agree. Cheeris the time you do get and don't worry to much about when he will pass away. We had the option of terminating the pregnancy with Sami as the doctors were sure he would not make it. He made it to full term and stayed with us for 4 days. I wish it was more but are very grateful for those 4 days.