Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Farewelling 2008

It occurred to me over the last few days that 2008 would soon be over. And while normally I get to the end of a year and am quite happy to write a new year on my dates, open a new calendar, and greet a new year this is not the case this year.

If I leave 2008, I leave Joshua's year. It's only a week until his first birthday. I am not prepared for his birthday. I am already experiencing a lot of emotion this week, for a variety of reasons (the least of which is probably my pregnant belly).

I will wait up to see in this new year, 2009. I will be happy abou tit, since it will bring the birth of a new baby, the first birthday of my son, the third birthday of my daughter, and the fourth anniversary of my marriage. This year will be filled with trials and triumphs, joys and sorrows, just as any year is.

I look forward to the future. But unlike any other year-turn I have experienced, I am not anxious for it to come. I am not ready for it to come. And yet, I realize it is simply a date. It is simply the way we as humankind count our days. It means nothing in the long run. It is simply midnight on one evening. It is merely the change of numbers.

But it means something to me. Never again can I say, "My son was born this year". It will very soon become, "My son was born last year". I don't want his birth to get farther and farther away. I want it to be this year!

I do not remember how I spent last New Year's Eve. I am sure I was at home. I am sure I was watching TV. And I remember knowing I would have a 2008 baby, not a 2007 baby. I will probably remember this year though. Because this is the first year I will ever have resisted the turn of a year.

Not that I can control anything in this regard. But it's on my mind.

May your new year, 2009, be filled with God's richest blessings - in your day-to-day life, in your heart, and in the depths of your character.

It is simply my prayer that I make it through 2009. That I make it through a year of firsts. That I make it through the birth of my 3rd child. That I make it. Resolutions are not my style. I make resolutions when I need to resolve to change something. This happens year round, not one day a year. I desire most though that God's blessings would be upon the depths of my character. I desire change in my heart. I desire change in my day-to-day life. I desire to grow this year. This year it is more apparent than other years. I must change. I must grow.

2008 has brought exponential change and many growth oppurtunities. I know I have grown. I know I have changed. I desire the same for this next year.

I desire that 2009 will not hurt so badly as 2008 did.


  1. your post really blessed my heart! I also pray that 2009 will have more joys then hurts for you as well

  2. Praying for you as this year ends and the new one begins.

    I, too, desire that this new year will not hurt so badly for you as 2008 did.

  3. I love the way you said what I always feel. Making change and resolve should be on ongoing process... not just thought about once a year.

  4. Time moves on faster then we are ready for it too sometimes. I hope you all have a very healthy, very happy, very blessed 2009. You all deserve it.

  5. Funny, I don't remember last New Year's Eve either and I was there with you guys. I think it was the day I arrived and I only made it awake until 9pm. My life has been dramatically changed too this past year. I have a much clearer picture of what is important and what is not. The visit to New Zealand was a part of it...Joshua the greater part. Only God can bring that kind of beauty out of ashes. And with every death in my family I have felt the same as you...not wanting their absence to get further away and not being able to stop it. Thank you for your prayer and we will be praying for you too.

  6. You and Eva's mom are in my heart at this time because you have both lost your babies and are expecting new ones and I know it's bittersweet for you. There's no "getting over it" when a loved one dies. It's a matter of learning to live with it and it's hard sometimes because we miss them so much. As I prepare a Night of Remembrance gathering in honor of the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death, I find myself thinking not only of her, but of all the blogs I've read of all the families that lost their little ones and loved ones during this past year.

    I hope that 2009 is a good year, full of love and joy.

  7. Susie,
    Go to for tons of crochet and knit patterns. I love your sweater! Happy New Year!
    (S.C., USA)

  8. My heart is reaching out across the contenants and holding you as we share very similar feelings about 2008. (you are already in 2009)

    Susie - thank you for helping me get ready to meet my 'Lijah.
    Till we all meet in Heaven
    'Lijah's Mommy

  9. that was me new years 2007/08. I was wishing for a new year that did not hurt as much as 2007 did.

    2008 was kind to me and I'm hoping for an extraordinary 2009 as I'm counting down the days for the arrival of my second child.

  10. 2008 holds a lot of bittersweet momories, I to pray that 2009 will not hurt so much...

  11. Susie,
    You speak as a woman of many years your elder. God has truly been with you and blessed you this year with the birth of Joshua. I could not imagine your loss as it is your son, however I do know that the further from the date he left this world it means the closer we are to the day you will see him again in our eternal home. I pray for you and many others this New Years Day. I too pray this year does not "hurt" as much as 2008 did. I would pray that our world see's a less hurtful, more productive, caring and compassionate 2009.

    God Bless You

  12. You have an award waiting for you over at my blog.

  13. What a beautiful post. Here is hoping that 2009 brings warm blessings.

  14. I just want to hug you. I desire that for you too, sweetheart. You are in my ptayers still.

  15. Susie, as always you touch my heart...Praying for the supernatural peace that passes all understanding-He is SO faithful.
    Much love Vic

  16. Praying for a season of joy for you and your lovely family...and for the little one being "knit together" in your womb.

    Blessings for the New Year...

  17. Susie
    Thank you for the wonderful New Year's Blessing! I pray that you feel carried in our Lord's loving arms.

  18. I will be praying that 2009 blesses you with a beautiful baby and everything you and your family desire!

  19. May peanut butter and jelly kisses find you often.
    May this birth and this tiny babe heal your heart in unexpected ways.
    May more memories make you smile than cry.
    May God's gentle faithfulness hold you close.
    And may HOPE never leave your heart.

    Blessings to your family in the New Year!