It occurred to me over the last few days that 2008 would soon be over. And while normally I get to the end of a year and am quite happy to write a new year on my dates, open a new calendar, and greet a new year this is not the case this year.
If I leave 2008, I leave Joshua's year. It's only a week until his first birthday. I am not prepared for his birthday. I am already experiencing a lot of emotion this week, for a variety of reasons (the least of which is probably my pregnant belly).
I will wait up to see in this new year, 2009. I will be happy abou tit, since it will bring the birth of a new baby, the first birthday of my son, the third birthday of my daughter, and the fourth anniversary of my marriage. This year will be filled with trials and triumphs, joys and sorrows, just as any year is.
I look forward to the future. But unlike any other year-turn I have experienced, I am not anxious for it to come. I am not ready for it to come. And yet, I realize it is simply a date. It is simply the way we as humankind count our days. It means nothing in the long run. It is simply midnight on one evening. It is merely the change of numbers.
But it means something to me. Never again can I say, "My son was born this year". It will very soon become, "My son was born last year". I don't want his birth to get farther and farther away. I want it to be this year!
I do not remember how I spent last New Year's Eve. I am sure I was at home. I am sure I was watching TV. And I remember knowing I would have a 2008 baby, not a 2007 baby. I will probably remember this year though. Because this is the first year I will ever have resisted the turn of a year.
Not that I can control anything in this regard. But it's on my mind.
May your new year, 2009, be filled with God's richest blessings - in your day-to-day life, in your heart, and in the depths of your character.
It is simply my prayer that I make it through 2009. That I make it through a year of firsts. That I make it through the birth of my 3rd child. That I make it. Resolutions are not my style. I make resolutions when I need to resolve to change something. This happens year round, not one day a year. I desire most though that God's blessings would be upon the depths of my character. I desire change in my heart. I desire change in my day-to-day life. I desire to grow this year. This year it is more apparent than other years. I must change. I must grow.
2008 has brought exponential change and many growth oppurtunities. I know I have grown. I know I have changed. I desire the same for this next year.
I desire that 2009 will not hurt so badly as 2008 did.