Mother's Day. It's kool. But it's painful. Joshua would have been 4 months old last Wednesday - 17 weeks old tomorrow. But he's not. Instead I had to say yesterday, "My son died 8 weeks ago".
Michelle [A South African bloglander] sent me an e-card that quoted 1 Corinthians 13:13 which says, "Now, let these three things remain, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." And it struck me that they all sound like "flowery" things. Faith, hope, and love - niceties. But they're not. They are what you CLING to when life sucks. When you don't know why you son died - you have to have FAITH that God knew what he was doing, that God had a plan for you son, that God accomplished your son's purposes in the short time he had. You have to have HOPE that God is real, that eternity with God IS something to be grasped, and that your son is with the Heavenly Father, without pain. And LOVE. You've got to have love. You have to have love to survive the day. Because, even though you're missing your son so much, and so glad you still have your daughter, your fuse is so short. You have to have love with your husband - when you realize all over again that he's not going through this journey the same way you are, and when your daughter has a fit because she doesn't realize how upset Mummy is, or when people mean well, but tell you "Well it's a good thing you still have Oceana".
Faith - Hope - and Love are to be clung to. Not doled out with a blank stare. They are vital. They keep you alive.
Mothers. You are amazing. Even when [and I'm the first on the list] the laundry piles up, the clothes are long past dirty - but still getting pulled out of the dirty clothes to be worn, the floor's a mess, the baby has egg stuck in her hair for 4 days (yahhhhh... she needs a bath!), and when you scream at your kid - because you're fried and they stepped out of line at the wrong moment. Even when the phone rings and you answer in "polite voice" as opposed to the scream you were in the middle of. Even when you put off going to the doctor. Even when you reuse the diaper that's not realllllly that bad. Even when you don't want to be a mother. Even when you look back 5 or 10 or 20 years and wish your life was simpler, quieter, easier, ....
It's a "calling" isn't it. Not just a "happening". Not all of us chose the road when we found it. But we're on it now. And it's one of those "eternity-rides" isn't it?
Happy Mother's Day Ladies. You deserve to be congratulated, even when you don't think you do.